Reborn
by kgq
Summary: To whom do you turn, when the past comes back to haunt you?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hi guys! I'm back with a new WIP. Its been a while but I'm looking forward to getting my hands dirty again, and bringing the boys to life so to speak.**

**First: I would like to thank the awesomeness that is my pre readers.**

** Lets start with Yulliah Meghan author of A Twin Thing:  Thanks for always being there willing and able to kick my butt into gear. And when I feel like I can't continue and want to throw in the towel kicking me some more. I will be forever grateful.**

**The amazing Prassacut author of Roads:  I know you are not feeling 100% at the moment. But please know you are always in our thoughts and we miss you. I love you babe. **

**And new to the team James Black: Thank you sweetie, for taking the time to patiently read over my not so pretty rough draft. your eagerness to share your thoughts and feelings will always be appreciated.**

**And last but never least, my wonderful beta Deβra Anne  who painstakingly and patiently corrects my mess in hopes of keeping me readable, so you guys keep coming back, babe you rock my world.**

**All thats left to say now, is please enjoy.**

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Sighing deeply, I place my bags on the porch by my feet. Bringing a shaking hand up, I put my new, freshly cut key in the lock, chanting silently to myself. _'You can do this! You know you can do this! You can... Right?'_

And with a deep, nervous breath, I let my fingers slowly turn, sucking in an anxious hitch of air, when my eager ears hear the click. Then, for the first time in ten years, for the first time in a fucking long ten years, I take a shaky step across the threshold of my very own place.

Carrying my bags straight upstairs to the master bedroom, I place them in the back of the closet, doing my best to keep them out of the way, knowing I'll have time later to unpack them, along with the rest of the boxes, once the movers have finished bringing in the furniture. _'Shouldn't take them long though; not like I left with much. There's only so much you can do when you have but a small window of time to work with.'_

Turning with my hands contentedly on my hips, I scan the area. peeking out the dusty bedroom window onto the backyard. The view causes my smile to grow wide. It's a small, cozy house that backs up to the woods, with a nice little garden out front. I dream of long hikes and planting flowers, something I'm hoping will keep me occupied and busy during the lazy summer afternoons. But seriously, I couldn't care less if it was nothing more than a cardboard box, just the thought of it being mine and mine alone makes me giddy.

But this small town secluded living will take some getting used to, I'm sure. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, I'm up and prepared for a good challenge, no matter what. It's just that I'm a city boy at heart – well, that's what I thought, personally – loving the hustle and bustle of the bright lights, city streets and night life, always feeling the need to surround myself with people and noise. My eyes fall shut when heavy thoughts suddenly try to drown me, making me cringe, having to swallow hard the nervous bile now gathering in the back of my throat, knowing fine rightly why I needed it all, and how much it didn't fucking work.

My body shudders slightly when my weakness tries to return, and I feel myself start to slowly hyperventilate. Quickly bringing a shaky hand up, I press my fingertips roughly onto the side of my head, frantically massaging my temple as the dark, dismal memories do their best to consume me and flash within my brain, silently having to chant to myself _'You can do this! You can do this! You know you can.'_

Taking a sharp, deep breath, steadying my nerves, I eagerly remind myself, '_It's time for a change, damn it! It's time for a new beginning.'_ Wanting and longing, for the first time in what feels like forever, to feel empowered, and even somewhat in charge of my own life and destiny, I decided months ago to grab this opportunity when offered to me by the balls, and run with it.

I jump nervously and a small, choked yelp releases from my chest. I have to steady myself and wipe my brow with a shaky hand, as my eyes dart panic-stricken around the room, wary of the strange noise. Then as a small, anxious giggle dances in my throat, and I'm able to get my breathing back under control, slowing my pounding heart, I realize it was nothing more than the doorbell echoing throughout the empty walls. I hear it ring loudly once more.

Running my fingers through my hair, I glance at my watch and excitedly whisper, "Fuck! They're a little earlier than I expected, but hey, I'll take early over late any day."

Looking over my shoulder as I back out of the room, grabbing the door handle and pulling it tight behind me, I'm brought up short and I stop abruptly. My eyes fall to my fingers folded around the knob, as my belly cramps then flips and my palm starts to stickily sweat. Then forcing myself to stand a little straighter, drawing a deep breath nervously into my lungs, I slowly feel myself start to grin, and instead of shutting it tight like I knew I should, pulling it closed, just the way I'd been taught, I let my palm fall flush with the wood and gleefully push it back open.

_'Cause you can do this, you know you can.'_

I excitedly make my way two steps at a time to the front door, yelling out in my loudest voice possible, hoping they can hear me. "Coming, guys! Hold on please! I'm coming! I'll be right there!"

Eagerly pulling the door open, the force of my action causes the wind to catch my unruly hair and makes it messily fall in my face. It startles me at first, making me chuckle to myself then laugh heartily. My breath hitches and I have to take a step to steady myself when the strange sound echoes in my ears, I feel my brow frown in confusion and my head becomes a little light, when I realize how foreign the sound really is to me, and how long it's actually been since I'd made it. With no time to give it much thought. and doing my best to desperately shake it off. I unknowingly say. "Come on in. boys. The boxes should be labeled properly, so it shouldn't be that hard. Living room to your left, dining room right, kitchen straight ahead, and everything for the bedrooms and bathroom can go upstairs."

Holding the door open and standing back, I wait. Then tapping my foot impatiently, I find myself waiting some more, truthfully expecting all hell to break loose when these burly, huge sweaty men unenthusiastically take over the run of my new little home for at least the next hour. But as I'm taking the time to hold the door and run my fingers through my hair, trying to make myself somewhat presentable, my eyes dart in confusion and frustration when I hear and see nothing go by.

Pulling on the door a little more abruptly, I unwillingly let my confusion be known. "Huh? What the hell? Guys?"

And when I notice it's not the movers, it dawns on me that it's not a herd of burly, sweaty men about to run rampant over my newly polished hardwood floors. I feel my face start to flush and my eyes blur with embarrassment when it falls upon _people!_ Well, I think they're people, having to mentally kick myself. _'Edward, you're a total tool, of course they're people.' _I'm unable to hold at bay my own grin when five sets of perfect pearly whites smile widely back at me.

My eyes dart curiously and frantically between all five, trying my best to take them in. _'Fuck! They're all so good looking, I'm so fucking doomed if this is the criteria to live in this sleepy little town.' _The awkwardness of the moment causes me to self consciously run my fingers though my unruly hair again. Then the swift movement of what looks like the youngest guy's hand coming in contact with his mouth when he softly coughs nervously, draws me to him. I watch, bewildered, as a confused and worried look crosses his youthful, handsome face, seconds before my attention is caught when the oldest, but still young looking, female steps forward. "Mr. Mason?" Meeting her haunting amber eyes, I gently nod. "Please forgive our intrusion, we heard a rumor that you would be arriving today. I hope we aren't disturbing you or getting in the way, but we just felt the need to be one of the first to welcome you properly to our friendly little town."

I watch as the eldest guy walks forward, folding an arm gently around the woman's small waist, and I let myself step out to meet his outstretched hand before he speaks. "Mr. Mason, we are the Cullen family. I'm Carlisle Cullen, chief of staff at our small local hospital. And this beautiful woman is my wife Esme." Glancing in her direction again, I find I'm unable to do anything other than smile at the very attractive auburn haired lady, as she returns mine with a wide beaming one of her own. They both move fluently to the side, letting the others take center stage, but still Carlisle's voice rings in my ears. "This little one..." I chuckle as the spiky-haired girl shoots him a look. He coughs, trying to disguise his own amusement before he continues. "Well this would be our youngest, Alice. She attends the local college." And as she eagerly grabs my fingers, I chuckle hard, realizing how much of a handful she really is as she bounces excitedly on her toes.

She takes being introduced as her cue to take charge, and excitedly pulls the other girl to the forefront. My brows frown as I hear the attractive blond disgustedly huff. "And this would be Rosalie, but you can call her Rose, we all do. She's a nurse at the same hospital as our Dad, Carlisle." Reaching my hand a little over Alice's head, I weakly shake her fingertips and give a quick nod in the somewhat bored-looking Rose's direction.

But before I can even catch my breath or give myself a second to think, Alice pulls the blond haired guy from earlier straight into my line of sight. I find I'm unable to meet his gaze, my eyes finding interest in the shiny buttons of his jacket, as Alice once more speaks up. "And this! This would be Jasper, my big brother. He teaches history at the high school; that's how we came to find out about you first." Looking up, I see Jasper's eyes dart, annoyed, to Alice as he whispers through gritted teeth "Alice please." But not seeming to be one to back down she grants him a pointed stare before inquiring. "What? Its true! Isn't it?" And as I watch on amused, he pushes her away gingerly with his hip before elegantly holding out his hand for me to take.

I jump slightly when his cold palm comes in contact fully with mine, then relax a little when his smooth voice softly washes over me. "Please Mr. Mason, pay my little sister no mind. She is the spitfire of the family, and we do our best to ignore her. But she is right about one thing, I found out about your arrival though the school; that I can't deny. It's a small town, and not much changes here, so when you hear a new biology teacher will be arriving soon, it kinda piques your interest, so to speak. So please, if you can, do your best to ignore my baby sister's rudeness."

With my hand still wrapped in his, I answer, "No apologies necessary, Mr. Cullen, I understand, believe me I do." And as his amber eyes – just like his mother's, father's and, oddly enough, both his siblings – grow bright, causing my eyebrows to raise questioningly when I notice a quick emotion flash in them before he catches himself and answers, "Jasper, Mr. Mason. Please, just call me Jasper."

Still feeling the slight chill run through my hand and up my arm, I give a small smile, and as my eyes fall upon each one of them, I quietly say, "The name's Edward Mason, but please feel free to just call me Edward!"

It's early evening before I get the chance to plop myself down at my very own kitchen table. Even though I feel quite overwhelmed and exhausted, I don't think I could be or have been any happier. Esme Cullen's wide, enchanting smile flashes in my head as I hungrily dig into the welcoming bounty she had so kindly prepared and brought for me. And the movers, though huge, sweaty and burly, had worked quickly, surprising me with their swiftness and successfully managing not to damage my newly polished hardwood floors in the process, were done in record time, having left ages ago.

And although the Cullens were long gone, my head still spins like a whirlwind and my thoughts seem determined to keep them for a while, drifting from time to time to each and every one of their handsome faces, finding them intriguing and mysterious, my imagination having been captivated by their not so subtle beauty and quiet, soothing demeanor.

But once I've cleaned and cleared the dishes and put the extra food away, I eagerly make myself a list to take to market the next day. I take special care repacking Esme's picnic basket, in the hopes of having the chance to return it at some point, not that I would need an excuse, or for that matter to lie, just to see them again; they had made themselves quite clear when they eagerly exchanged phone numbers and painstakingly pointed out the direction to their property from my own. So having surprised myself on how quickly I made new friends, realizing my move might not be that bad after all, and a little easier to bear, I tiredly make my way up the stairs, opening every room door as I go, running my shaky fingers over the window locks and rechecking the front and back bolts at least twice.

My ears buzz with the silence of this place, my mind racing with the ability to finally have and keep a single thought that is all mine, and mine alone. Reaching the top of the stairs, before I enter my room, I give myself a second to take it all in and breathe. I find myself chanting once more, _'You can do this, Edward! You know you can.'_

"_EDWARD!" My ears hum from the high pitched squeal bouncing off the minimally decorated walls, as I walk quickly down the cold stark hallway in its direction. Opening the door and entering the kitchen, I freeze in the door frame. The sight of him causes me to swallow hard. I don't have to see his expression or look into his cold, dark eyes to know he's already pissed at me. I watch warily as his angry back muscles contract and crawl under his overly-starched, well-tailored dress shirt, and his collar tightens when the back of his neck expands and turns red in rage. _

_I know he knows I'm here. He always knows I'm here. Why? Cause he fucking knows everything. Letting my watery eyes fall shut when I feel the bile gather at the back of my nervous throat, trying my best to control my overzealous heartbeat, I listen to him sigh disgustedly. Then coolly and calmly, he straightens himself to his full height. He doesn't turn or make a move to acknowledge I'm even in the room. Cause really! He doesn't have to. He already knows. Why? Cause he always fucking knows._

_Then slowly, my fevered skin starts to crawl and every little hair on the back of my neck stands at attention when his oh-so-familiar sarcastic deep monotone voice rolls effortlessly off his sharp tongue. _

_"Edward? Like really! Babe? What would be so FUCKING important that you would feel the need to leave a pot boiling on my stove? Can you tell me? Can you answer me that?" _

"_Crap!" My head spins, searching for the right answer, and my eyes squint and dart nervously around the cold, sterile room. It's willing, but unable, to grab at anything that would make sense right now or, for that matter, make him less irritated. I feel my form shake slightly and my palms start to sweat when my throat runs dry. God damn it! I know what I was doing, I know where I was, but fuck, is it the right answer? Am I going to say the wrong fucking thing? Like always? Again!_

_My head nervously pounds, searching for the right words, wondering if I should go with the truth or gamble a little more and lie. Fuck knows I've been in this position a million times before, you'd think I'd know what the fuck to say to make this right by now. But I never do, the rules always seem to change, and I always seem for some reason to get it wrong. So when you think about it, I'm damned if I do, damned it I don't, as they say. Taking a deep, anxious breath I try to softly win him over._

_"I'm sorry, hon. I didn't hear you come in. I wasn't expecting you for at least another half hour." Gingerly walking towards him, I wrap my shaky arms around his chest and lean my head on his tense shoulders. "How was your day, babe? Did you have another rough one? Can I get you something? Anything? A drink perhaps?"_

_Then before I know it, with a move so swift I didn't see it coming, he spins abruptly and roughly grabs me by the back of the head. The steam hits my face, dampening my skin. I release a small groan when his fingers entwine in my hair, pulling on the roots tight, as I find myself being held inches from my boiling pot of spaghetti sauce. Then with his lips pressed tight against my ear, he angrily hisses through gritted teeth, "Edward... Darling… You know better than this, right? If I've taught you anything at all, I know I've taught you at least this, or is that thick skull of yours way too dense to comprehend what I'm saying?"_

_And as I try to keep my eyes opened and my head strains against his grip trying desperately to keep it away from the scalding sauce, I finally see what he is talking about. In the mere seconds it took me to grab the laundry and carry it to our room, my boiling pot has made a mess on his prestigiously clean, very expensive stove top. Swallowing hard, trying to catch my breath, I nervously do my best to reason with him. "Sweetie, I'm so sorry. I... I didn't mean to be gone so long. And I rea..real..really thought I'd turned the heat down so this would be prevented. Le..let me get you that dri..drink, hon. Then I'll get this cleaned up an..and we can sit and have a nice dinner. As you can see, I made your favorite, babe."_

_And as his grip loosens and I'm spun to face him, now bent backwards over the hot stove top, he brings his face closer to mine. I beggingly stare into his wild gaze, hoping my quivering lip grants me some mercy, unable to breathe when I feel his huge hand glide over my chest and his fingers fold around my throat. I swallow hard, and my eyes involuntarily fall shut when he sourly speaks. _

_"Edward! Is it really too much for you to follow a few simple rules, babe? You know I'm really an easygoing person, don't you? You know I wouldn't have to do this if you would just listen and pay me some mind. It's not hard, Edward. It doesn't take a fucking rocket scientist to comprehend a few fucking rules, now does it? That's all I ask, babe, and then life would be so much simpler. I swear, just follow the few rules I have set in place, and everyone can be happy. Do you understand, Edward! Are you listening to me?" Knowing he doesn't really want an answer or to hear my voice, I grant him a small, nervous nod. _

_Taking his hand from around my throat, he straightens and releases me, letting me stand upright. And as he turns slowly to walk away, I run my fingers through my wet, sticky hair, and let a long sigh of relief escape my lips. Then I jump, awkwardly releasing a small yelp, when he swings around and brings his flat palm to meet my flushed cheek. A small evil grin dawns on his face when he notices me cower and swallow hard, wiggling his eyebrows playfully before he speaks again. "See, Edward! See how easy this all is? It would all go so smoothly if you would just listen." Then leaning in, pulling me flush with his broad chest, he attacks my mouth with the utmost of vigor, his lips so tight, I'm unable to catch my breath._

Waking with a startle, I anxiously fumble for the bedside lamp. Once the room is illuminated, my eyes dart frantically around the space, my gaze searching every corner, following every shadow. Drawing a deep, long breath into my strangled lungs and nervously running my fingers through my now damp hair, I give my eyes time to adjust. My shaky hands anxiously find their way to my quivering lips, ghosting the curves of my mouth. I sigh deeply when I realize it was all just a dream, just a really bad dream.

Though my night was restless and my sleep not deep, my time spent tossing and turning with flashes of memories like old time horror movies scrambling my brain, I still wake less tense than I have in a long time, and somewhat refreshed. I softly chant my new mantra as I pull back the covers, heading for the shower, unwilling to let this day be like every other, determined to start this one anew. And with a broad smile, I find I'm ready to take on whatever it has to offer.

Casually perched on the countertop, letting my legs dangle lazily, I sip on my well-earned cup of coffee while I scan the morning paper. Proudly, I let my eyes take in my little kitchen, It's old and needs some tender loving care, and although it might not be as shiny and pristine as the one I just left, it still overwhelms me that I get to call it my own. Jumping down, turning to wash my cup in the sink, knowing it should be rinsed and put away before it's even cooled, I turn on the faucet, letting the water run warm. Quickly, I catch myself thinking, _'What the fuck's the rush, Edward? And who the hell is here to tell you any different?' _And with acheesy grin, I decide to calmly just place it in the sink for later, maybe even way later. Then retrieving my note from the fridge, I give it one final glance over, checking the window locks once more and pushing every door open wider on my down the hall before I head to the store.

Rounding the corner of the cereal aisle, I freeze, listening terrified as my knuckles crack when my fingers wrap tautly around the handle of the cart, and my throat runs dry. Letting my eyelashes fall against my cheeks, I try to steady my overly-pounding heart as my body slowly starts to tremble. Unwilling or unable to open my eyes, I hold my breath as the scent tries to consume me and the aroma dances in my nostrils. The nervous pounding in my head drowns out the market's noises, wanting to explode, threatening to combust with fear.

_'Fuck! It's him. I'd recognize the smell of his expensive, yet offensive, cologne anywhere. How the hell did he find me? How the fuck did he know? Oh, right! He knows everything!' _Trying to breathe deeply, feeling the nervous sweat trickle under my shirt down the ridges of my back, I hear his obnoxious voice ring in my ears. _"Edward! Edward!" _ My eyelids are heavy, refusing to cooperate and open. The fear that tone instills in me shakes me to the core. My breath hitches anxiously when I hear it again._ "Edward! Edward? Are you ignoring me?" _And just when it got to the point of no return, the moment I knew I could just drop everything and flee, a sudden peace washes over me and my lids flutter open. My eyes squint and my brow furrows, adjusting to the markets light's as they dart confusedly in every direction.

My cart being nudged brings me back to reality as a tall, dark-haired, well-dressed guy stretches across and in front of me, to the shelf a little beyond his reach. Turning his head, giving me a small apologetic smile, he quickly grabs a box of kids' cereal before looking, at my sure to be- bewildered gaze, confused, then saying, "Sorry, dude, in a little bit of a hurry." Shaking the box in my face, he continues, "You know what it's like. I'm sure you have kids. You can never make it home from work without a call from the wife reminding you to pick something up. Am I right?"

And as I feel myself ease and my heart and breathing become normal, I draw in a deep breath to steady myself. Nervously chuckling when I realize the offensive aroma of the expensive cologne was his, I'm able to grant him a small smile, and a sharp, understanding nod. And with a "Yup! That's what I thought," he quickly turns and leaves.

My relief is short lived, as once again, I hear my name being called, sending a cold shiver down my spine, holding my breath when I realize just how close it is this time. "Edward?" Shaking my head slightly, kicking myself when I recognize the familiar voice, smiling inwardly when it rings in my ears once more. "Edward? Mr. Mason?" Turning ever so slowly, I'm greeted with a pair of bright amber eyes and a gleaming pearly white grin.

"Wow! Mr. Cul... I mean Jasper. I'm sorry I didn't hear you call my name."

His grin grows even wider, but his eyes show concern, and focus as he replies, "Damn! I thought you were ignoring me there for a minute." Giving a deep chuckle, he continues, "Made me a little worried, to be honest. Way to give a guy an inferiority complex. Not like I haven't been calling your name or trying to get your attention for the past ten minutes."

Closing my eyes, remembering someone calling me earlier, I steady myself, continuing with a grin of my own. "I'm so sorry, I didn't hear you. And really, Jasper, I'm way too new in this town. I don't have enough friends yet to start ignoring people so soon."

Releasing a small and what sounded like a nervous laugh, he replies, "It's okay, I understand. I didn't realize you were talking to someone until it was too late."

Thinking back to the well-dressed husband with the offensive cologne, I start to chuckle. Jasper stares at me with a little amusement dancing in his eyes, enabling me to give a playful response.

"Oh, him? Yeah! We were discussing our wives and children."

He takes a small step back, his eyes squinting questionably as he asks, "You have a wife? And kids? But I thought?"

I laugh heartily at his confusion, the unfamiliar sound ringing in my ears once more, hoping to all that will listen that I never get used to hearing it and it never gets old. I reply, "Nah! No wife, no kids, no nothing." Well… at the moment, but he didn't need to know that now, did he?

And with our uplifting mood following us, Jasper escorts me around the store for the next hour. Our banter is light and carefree while we both take turns loading my cart, and he eagerly fills me in on life in this sleepy little town, with some of its weird and slightly quirky occupants, also explaining in great detail what I should expect come Monday, when I start my new job at the high school.

Only when we get to the counter and I pay for my groceries, while Jasper helps pack my bags, do I become a little confused. But before I could voice my concern, my eyes sneakily side glancing between my food, the now filled bags and Jasper's empty hands, does he speak. I swallow hard, not wanting to look rude and offend him, guessing he has noticed my perplexed stare. "Oh, I wasn't here to buy anything. I saw you through the window and came in to say hello and inquire how you were doing." And as I watch his eyes, his stare searching my face looking for something, I grant him a smile, noticing the corners of his mouth curve in response when he finds what he wants and senses me relax.

I'm busily loading the car, with Jasper's assistance, of course, when a weird sensation creeps through me, causing my skin to prickle under my shirt. I stare at him for a second, getting myself lost in thought. His willingness to help me is overwhelming. His ability to keep me at ease, truthfully, is a feeling I'm unfamiliar with, but something I've always longed and yearned for. I spent so many years feeling trapped and alone, and considering myself useless, it's nice to finally have a friend that seems to appreciate my company.

Unusually aware of what seems my every move and anxious thought, Jasper abruptly stops loading the trunk, and effortlessly takes a few steps away as he turns to face me straight on. Raising a questioning eyebrow, he inquires, "Are you all right, Edward? Is there something wrong?" Pointing a thumb over his shoulder, he continues, "I can go if I'm making you feel uncomfortable."

Staring at him, trying to understand and do my best to come to terms with how I'm feeling, I recognize uncertainty as it washes over him and tries its best to diminish his handsome looks. Uncharacteristically reaching out, I place my hand softly on his forearm. My breath nervously hitches when I'm unable to make full contact, jumping slightly when Jasper steps swiftly out of my reach. His eyes narrow, and I hear what sounds like - if I'm not mistaken - a sharp hiss release itself from under his breath.

Taken aback and a little stunned, I step to the side with what I'm sure is a look of bewilderment and confusion, as I watch Jasper squirm uncomfortably. A little disappointed in myself for causing him to feel this way, I try my best to make amends. But as I open my mouth to apologize, I'm unable to do so, cause he doesn't give me a chance. He doesn't let me explain. He urgently places the last two bags in the trunk, closing it with a loud thud, the noise dragging my eyes from him for a mere second as I watch the car's rear rattle from the force of the slam.

Then sensing emptiness around me, suddenly getting the feeling I was alone, I look up in time to see Jasper inches from his own vehicle. And as he pulls open the door and swiftly glides into its cab, he glances over his shoulder in my direction. Giving a sharp nod and an apologetic grin, he yells, "Forgot I was out to pick something up for Car… my Dad. Call me if you need anything, Edward!"

Standing stunned and confused, my eyes darting around the store's parking lot, I have to give myself a minute to comprehend what just happened. My head spun with the conversation we'd just had in the grocery store. My thoughts wandered to us loading the car, but I couldn't find anything. I couldn't come up with a good enough answer for his peculiar reaction. Deciding to give it more thought later, I climb into my car and head for home.

Pulling into my driveway, grabbing the bags, knowing I'll have to make a few trips, I head up the steps to the porch. Turning my key in the lock still makes me smile big at the thought that this gorgeous little house is all, mine and mine alone, continues to make me giddy.

But when I step across its threshold, my belly cramps and my chest tightens, as I feel all breathable air get sucked frantically from the room. My head starts to float and my body trembles, and I'm only brought back to reality when the plastic bags hit the floor and canned goods clank and rattle at my feet.

Staring towards my kitchen, the short entry gets longer and narrower in my blurry tunnel vision. Because really, I know what I see, but seriously it's not what I'm supposed to. Cause what's supposed to be in front of me is my cute little kitchen table and chairs. I should be able to walk right to it and place my bags on top.

But I can't, cause it's not there; but what is - is a door.

My head spins as my eyes dart frantically around the small space. I'm unable to control my breathing. As my nervous, watery eyes fall upon each and every door in my hall, panic and horror set in when I realize every fucking one, the living room, dining room, between me and the kitchen, has been closed tight.

Then suddenly, the tiny little hairs on the back of my neck spring to attention and my blood runs cold when his sarcastic voice, deep and monotone rings in my weary, frightened ears._ "Edward?"_

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**_Hope you guys think this is something worth continuing to read, let me know your thoughts._**


	2. Chapter 2

**I know, I know, its been forever please forgive. But I knew I was never going to abandon this little story so here we are again. And just so you know I'm already half way though the next chapter so please don't give up.**

**First I'd like to thank my awesome friend and pre-reader** ** Yulliah Meghan author of A Twin Thing: over the last few months she has painstakingly tried her best to kick my ass and get me back to writing and I'm happy to say just a few days ago she accomplished that daunting task and now here I am.**

**Next my awesome hang in there beta ****Deβra Ann knowing how desperately I wanted to post this chapter she did her utmost to have it done and dusted within a few short days and for that and all else that you do I'll be forever grateful.**

******So enough of my small talk lets get down to the nitty gritty and get you back to your boys.**

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_Then suddenly the tiny little hairs on the back of my neck spring to attention, and my blood runs cold when his sarcastic voice deep and monotone rings in my wary, frightened ears. "Edward?"_

I jump to attention and my body freezes, as I feel the beads of sweat make their way from my hairline down over my forehead. It stings my eyes as it rolls across the bridge of my nose, slipping saltily between my tight fear-clenched lips.

My ears buzz and hum with the heavy pounding of my frantic heart, as it echoes loudly within them. My breathing is labored and shallow, the hard lump lodged at the back is threatening to suffocate me. I curse myself inwardly as my weakness and fear return tenfold, and I sense myself start to convulse. Anxiety creeps through my core as I nervously gnaw on the inside of my mouth, cringing when I feel my short, blunt nails dig painfully into the palms of my hands. Then a scared sob hiccups in the back of my throat when I hear his voice again.

"_Edward!?... Edward?"_

I tense even more. Every bone hurts and my muscles contract under the pressure. My eyes closed so tight, that tiny stars like Fourth of July fireworks dance behind my lids. And once again, the low, sour pitch washes over me, blanketing me in a veil of complete and utter terror.

"_Edward?"_

Then suddenly, without warning, my cloud lifts and my heart slows, as peace and serenity rolls through me. Slowly and nervously, I swallow hard, licking my dry lips as I will myself to let my eyes flutter open, and within a few blinks, they do. My breath nervously hitches, finding myself still faced with the closed door, the heavy wood looming watery in my blurred vision. And although it still fills me with complete alarm and horror, for some reason unbeknownst to me, confusing me slightly, I'm able to stare at it. For some reason I'm apparently unaware of, I'm able to confront it.

My body shakes with nervous tremors, unwilling and unable to hold it together. Drained and weary, it gives in to my shock, and I fall with a hard thud to my knees. I cling to myself tightly, as I let my still slightly trembling arms surround me, holding me - constricting me - trying their best to pull me together, as deep heavy sobs release angrily from my chest.

My ears, still humming, don't hear the sound, but my senses tingle as my fevered skin goose bumps, and within a few short strides he's by my side. My hair blows with the swiftness of his movements, his sweet scent causing me to catch my breath and my mind to spin uncontrollably when I realize, and the thought hits me hard, that Jasper, Jasper Cullen, is even here, as he kneels and places his hand warily, but gently, upon my shoulder.

And again, just barely above a whisper, I hear my name. "Edward?"

I can't look in his direction, my mind conflicted as I both hate and love the fact that he's here in the first place. But it makes me loathe myself for being weak and scared even more, and I detest myself for letting it show, and that he's getting to see this side of me. And as my breathing returns to normal and my heart rate slows, his soft, soothing, concerned voice finds its way to my tired, buzzing ears.

"Edward? Can you tell me what the hell happened? Are you okay?"

I still can't look at him. I can't find it in me to make eye contact or focus. The thought that he has seen me at my worst swirls frantically in my head, disgusting me, filling me with an even more consuming hatred for myself. Then suddenly, without warning, like a feather, I'm lifted. Still unable to look at him or voice a rebuttal, I let my face bury itself in his hard chest.

With the utmost of ease, he carries me. It's like I'm floating. My embarrassment causes me to press my face tighter into his shirt, unable to stop myself from inhaling his sweet scent; the flowery aroma washing over me, sending me barreling into a slightly comatose state. Like in a dream, I hear a door get pushed open, and I feel my limp body being gently placed on a soft surface. Once again, I sense him kneel as he caringly tucks a pillow under my head and wraps me attentively in a blanket.

At this moment, I have the urge to fight him, I want to yell and tell him to leave me be, to let me wallow in my own self-hatred and just fuck the hell off. But I can't, I don't have it in me, I don't even have the strength or courage needed to summon my very own pity party. The fact that he's here and wanting to see me safe and make sure I'm comfortable floods me with a need I've always been yearning for. And as I let my wary, anxious eyes find their way to his face and search his features, I'm taken aback by his concerned, dark, angry amber gaze.

His voice, though low and angry, softly fills my ears. "What happened, Edward? Tell me what's going on? I drive by and find your car trunk and front door just sitting open, only to see you frozen in your hallway. What the hell is going on? Can you explain? Did someone try to hurt you?"

Bringing my hand to my face, I scrub it angrily, running my fingers through my hair, tugging on the roots tight, needing to feel the sharp pain. Wanting it to center and help me focus, I do my best to look at him. His eyes are sad and show concern. My first reaction is to calm him with my touch, but I choose instead to grip the blanket like my life depens on it, and tuck it securely under my chin.

As his eyes search my face, I silently beg him not to ask any more questions. I watch nervously, hoping he understands, when suddenly he straightens, and in just a moment, he's on his feet. Looking up in his direction, bewildered, I watch confused as like a trained guard dog, he suspiciously sniffs the air. My head lightens, and I bolt upright, when I watch the blur that was once Jasper Cullen leave the room.

I have no time to think, no time to comprehend, as I hear his light footsteps hit the landing above my head. Swiftly doors are being opened, closets are being checked. Feeling my head spin, running my fingers angrily though my hair, I release a painful groan when I hit the pillow one more time. Closing my eyes, watching the stars dance, I try to calm my breathing and search frantically for my happy place, with no avail.

"_Edward? Edward? Where the fuck are you?" It's dark! I can hear my heart pound in my ears as I listen to him search for me. Pulling my knees closer to my chest, resting my forehead on them, I hug myself even tighter, trying desperately to ward off the unconsciousness that so eagerly wants to visit me._

_I'm brought up short, my heart skipping a beat and my anxious breath catching in the back of my throat, when I hear his heavy steps enter the master bathroom. He's mumbling under his breath. His sarcastic tone washes over me, making every hair stand at attention and my skin goose bump with uneasiness. He's cursing the day he ever met me, wondering out loud why he even bothers with such a selfish, no good, son-of-a-bitch like me._

_Then my ears perk and I straighten. Running water? Why running water? He's filling the bath. What the fuck is he doing? Why would he be filling the bath?_

_I yelp when the hard, heavy door leading into the bedroom is pushed open, hitting the wall behind it with such angry force, I'm sure it will need to be repaired. I drag myself closer to the corner of the closet, folding into myself, trying to become small, desperately wanting to be invisible. My teeth chatter in fear, and I squeeze my form tighter, as it starts to convulse under my grip. I hide behind the long winter coats, twisting my toes inwards, straining my ankles, begging my pained bones not to forsake me now as they fight against me and my awkward self-preservation position, all in the hopes of not wanting to be found, or for that matter, seen._

_Then I gulp one last long breath when the closet door swings abruptly open. Squeezing my eyes tight, holding myself closer, I wait in silence. "Edward? Edward? God damn it! Answer me, boy! I know you're fucking in here, you stupid fuck. Why are you making this harder on yourself? You know I'll find you."_

_Pressing my head to the back wall, wincing as the sharp pain runs over my skull and down the back of my neck, I don't move a muscle. Listening terrified as hangers swish around me, my throat nervously contracts when clothes are pulled and thrown to the floor at my feet._

_Then with a force I've never felt before, I'm dragged by the hair to a standing position. I don't open my eyes, cause seriously, there's really nothing for me to see, not like I haven't seen it all before, not like it will do me much good. Instead, I wrap my arms around my chest, trying desperately to keep my zealous heart in the confines of my ribcage as my toes scramble for purchase, unable to find the floor beneath them._

_And within seconds, he's nose to nose, causing me to swallow dirty bile as his sour breath washes over me. "Edward? What the fuck were you thinking? Did you really think you'd get away with the stunt you pulled today? Seriously, Edward, you must take me for some kinda fool, if you think I would let you just leave the house without my permission. And for what, Edward? So you can meet up with some slutty friend from your past? I don't think so, boy! I don't work long hours week in and week out to give you the best, just so you can run around with gutter trash."_

_My eyes shoot open. I feel the need to defend my friend; it wasn't his fault he called me, it wasn't his fault we used to and still do know the same people, and at one point hung out with the same crowd. And it wasn't his fault that all he wanted to do was hang out for a while and catch up. But as my lips part to form the words, a sharp pain stings my skin, my hand finding its way to my face, feeling the hot burn of his slap, my cool fingertips doing their best to ease it._

"_Don't even fucking try it, Edward! Don't even waste your fucking time or breath, boy! Riley is an asshole. He always was. Yes, even in high school, Edward. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I know. You two had a thing for each other once, but that was once, Edward! You are mine now, I won - I got you. You belong to me, for fuck's sake."_

_And as I hang in midair, my feet still dangling, the tips of my toes frantically scraping the floor, he proceeds to rip the clothes from my body. Cursing and mumbling, he pushes and grabs at me like a wild caged animal. "No one, Edward! No one gets to touch you but me. Did he touch you, Edward? I'm sure he couldn't wait to get his grubby little fucking hands on you. Where the hell did he touch you, Edward? If you tell me you kissed, I swear to God I'm really going to lose it! I'm really going to have to kill someone!" And as he finally makes eye contact, and his dark, angered gaze stares at me, all I can do is sadly and weakly shake my head._

_Finally giving in, finally succumbing to his advances and rage, I fall limp. Weeping deep and silently, my throat nose and chest hurt from the strain as he lifts me into his arms. Crushing me possessively to his broad chest, he carries me into the bathroom, and crudely throws me into the tub full of hot water._

I jump, startled, when a cool hand touches my forehead.I scramble back to the arm of the couch as my blurry star-studded vision does its best to come into focus. Releasing a sharp breath, I watch Jasper swiftly raise his hands in surrender, and gingerly take up residence on the floor by my side.

His concern eases me. The softness in his amber eyes, though darting between mine, enables me to center and find a little peace. And when I finally slump back down under the blanket, dragging air into my lungs, he continues his soft-spoken interrogation from earlier.

"Edward? What's going on? Someone was here; someone was in your house. Do you know who? Do you want me to call the police? Not that Charlie is much, but the concern to keep his town peaceful and his townspeople safe outweighs all the stupid that can sometimes run though his silly little head."

I chuckle darkly at the thought of the local police force, wondering if they would even have the resources to handle my darkest nightmare. Jasper senses my sarcasm, and shoots me a pointed look before continuing, "I know it's a small town; nothing much happens here. But Charlie would be concerned. He really should know if there's something to be worried about."

Sitting a little straighter, running my fingers through my damp hair, I answer him in the best way I know how. "Jasper, don't worry, I'm fine. It was a panic attack, is all. I'm prone to them. They happen from time to time. It's just the new place, I'm sure. It's just getting used to being by myself for certain."

I watch as his amber eyes narrow to almost slits. His nostrils flare and his usually plump lips tighten in what looks like anger. "Edward? Someone was here. An intruder was in your home, and for some reason that does not concern you?" Taken aback by his tone, it's my turn to question. "Someone, Jasper? Are you sure? How on earth would you know that?"

Eagerly he rises to his feet, seemingly caught off guard. The thought surprises me somewhat, as Jasper Cullen does not seem to be a person that can be caught off guard so easily. Then for a split second, I watch as he searches for the right wording. "Yes, someone, Edward! I could sme...I could sens...I just know! Believe me! I just know these things."

Looming over me, worry and anxiousness flooding his handsome features, feeling myself being hastily tucked back under the blanket, he continues. "Are you okay? Do you need anything? Anything? Just name it!?" Confused and bewildered, all I can manage is a small shake of my head. "I have to go, Edward, but I'll try to drop by later to make sure everything is okay." And with that, he was gone. No goodbye, not even a nonchalant shake of his hand as I hear the front door slam shut behind him.

Groggily, I awake. My stiffened bones crack as I turn slightly, letting my anxious eyes scan the room uneasily, taking in my surroundings once I realized I had, at some point, dozed off. Scrambling to my feet, noticing that it has gotten late, I watch in awe through the curtains as twilight falls amongst the large trees surrounding my yard. _'Damn! How long was I really out?' _Sleepily, I head for the kitchen, determined to complete at least another task for the day, and clean up my discarded food mess from earlier. But as I enter the small space, my eyebrows raise in confusion. Hurriedly I open cupboards, drawers and the refrigerator, shocked and nervous when I see everything has been put away and in its place. I jump with a startle, a small, anxious yelp releasing from me when I hear the doorbell. Grabbing my chest, I chuckle sarcastically to myself. _'Really need to get used to that sound and stop being such a fucking pussy.' _

Slowly I make my way to the front door. I sigh a breath of relief when I see the glowing smile and bright amber eyes of one beautiful Esme Cullen staring, concerned, back at me. "Edward!? You're finally awake! I stopped by earlier." Raising one well-manicured eyebrow, she continues. "Jasper was concerned, you know! But...anyways, you were passed out on the couch, and seriously, I hope you don't mind, but I thought I would lend a helping hand and put your food away before it spoiled. Hope that's okay? Sorry if I overstepped any boundaries, I didn't mean to, just wanted to help, is all. And you looked so peaceful sleeping, I felt it would be a shame to wake you."

Unable to help myself, I smile widely back at the gorgeous woman. _'Yeah! I know I'm gay, but believe me, I'm not dead. I have an eye for beauty, and Esme Cullen is a woman that will catch it every time.' _Pulling the door wider, I signal her across the threshold, doing my utmost to reassure her as she steps into my hallway. "Oh, Esme, please! You could never overstep a boundary. I'm so glad you came; just sorry I was passed out and missed being in your delightful company." And as she glides gracefully by me, placing a hand on my chest, giggling like a schoolgirl, she quickly and confidently protests, "Oh, Edward! You say the nicest things. But really, it was no bother, and I'm here now. Let's head for the kitchen, and you can make me a nice hot cup of that Earl Grey you now have, and we can share a story or two."

Sipping on my hot, sweet tea, I sigh deeply as the calming fluid coats the back of my throat, soothing me instantly. I take a minute to stare across, watching Esme as she sits poker straight, but comfortable, staring her hot liquid, delicately, yet hypnotic-like, the steaming fluid not getting a chance to hit her plump, red lips, not wanting to mess her perfectly applied lipstick, I'm sure. My breath hitches when our eyes meet. My body slowly trembles at the overwhelming calming effect she has over me, relaxing and enabling me to melt slightly into the small, wooden chair.

But without warning, and before I could protest, she starts her motherly interrogation. "So, Edward!? Where is it you said you were from again? Forgive me, my memory is not as young as it used to be." Smiling softly in her direction, I answer. "Esme Cullen, you little sneak, I don't think I ever mentioned where I was originally from, but if you really must know, it's New York." The rim of the teacup doesn't reach her mouth, as her eyebrows shoot up in slight surprise, causing her to place it back on the table before she continues, "Ohhhh...oh...I so love New York. Only been there once or twice, mind you." I squint my eyes as I watch hers fade slightly, while she focuses on a spot somewhere on the wall behind me and momentarily gets lost in thought. Feigning a small cough I seem to bring her back to reality; she smiles wide and embarrassed before continuing, "Oh, yes I know New York well, and to be honest, that was way before your time, my dear, and I will not bore you with the details. I'm more interested in you, Edward, so be a good boy and entertain me. Tell me something about you. Tell me what brings you from the bright lights of the big city to a small town in the middle of nowhere?"

Topping off my tea from the pot, hovering over Esme's cup for a mere second, realizing that she hasn't even touched a drop, I lean back and proceed to tell her just enough to hopefully put an end to her curiosity. "There's nothing much to tell, I'm afraid. My parents died when I was really young." My eyes shoot up when I hear her hiss, and watch, concerned, as she places her hand softly upon her chest. "Oh! It's okay, Esme, that was long ago, and most of the painful memories have subsided. I'm good now, but it did mean that we had to go live with my father's much older sister, at least for a while, until we could get a place of our own." Bringing my cup to my mouth, needing a minute, I glance over as her lips part to question, then close, maybe rethinking her approach. Then I have to chuckle as I sense she has decided not to hold her tongue.

"We? Who we, Edward?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. We would be my brother and me. James is my older brother. After he graduated high school, he got a job, and we were able to finally be a family again, and move out on our own. That is, until...well... until he had his accident."

At first, I flinch when her cold but soft hand engulfs mine, but as I search her face, watching as she tenderly explores my own, I relax into her hold, letting the peace wash over me when her soft lullaby tone captures my ears. "Oh, you poor dear. What happened? Was he badly hurt? Please tell me he didn't di...?"

Squeezing her fingers gently, I abruptly interrupt, "Oh, lord no..no. He's still very much alive. It..it's..it's just that he's now in a hospital, unable to look after himself. He needs twenty-four hour, seven days a week care. Care I couldn't give him on my own, so my..my..bo..my friend, found him the best possible hospital money could buy, and at the moment, that is where he resides, until I can earn enough to have him come live with me again. You have to understand, he's confined to a wheelchair and unable to see, so I will need to have a nurse tending to his needs while I'm at work, and unable to take proper care of him during the day."

Leaning her elbows on the table, reaching across, she softly whispers. "Oh, dearest Edward, you have been through so much, my poor boy. It's wonderful that you had such a caring friend, willing and able to help you out. Where is this friend now? Are they no longer able to help? Are you no longer friends?" Pulling back, grabbing my cup a little too roughly, bringing it to my lips and gulping down the lukewarm liquid, I give myself a second before I answer her as honestly as I can. "No! No! Esme, they are unable to help me anymore, and truthfully, we are no longer friends. I'm really hoping I don't have to ever set eyes on him again, and seriously, if I'm being totally honest with you, I'll feel a whole lot better once I'm doing it on my own. It's how I was raised. It's the way James would want it to be; I'm sure of it."

Gracefully pushing back her chair, she rises to her feet and makes her way to the sink. I hear the now cold tea swirl its way down the drain, watching silently as she turns, leaning back against the porcelain facade before addressing me. "Well then, Edward, it looks like you came to the best place at the best possible time ever." Clasping her hands excitedly together, she proceeds. "With Carlisle being the chief of staff at the local hospital, and Rose a nurse, I'm sure we will all be able to put our heads together and come up with a quick and easy solution." Glancing down at her watch, then staring blankly in my direction, she quietly exclaims, "Oh my, look at the time. See what you did to me, Edward? You enthralled me with your tantalizing life, and enabled me to lose all sense of time. My family will be sending out a search party soon, if I don't make it home ASAP." Urgently standing and pushing my chair under the table, I begrudgingly escort this very intriguing woman to the front door.

Nervously I run my fingers through my hair, granting her a small smile as she glances back at me over her shoulder. My head's still spinning. I can't comprehend where the today went. I really can't believe how fast the time flew, and how willing I was to divulge so much in such a short period of time. But seriously, what's done is done, and there's no turning back or making excuses. It is what it is, and with that, I follow her quietly to the front door and out to her car.

Quickly cleaning the kitchen, I check the windows and doors once more, before making my way to bed. Eagerly climbing under the covers, I grab my cell phone and hit speed dial, staring into the darkness, watching through the curtains as the moon hangs low in the night sky outside my window. And as I lay patiently waiting, listening as the line rings, it dawns on me how eerily quiet the forest is tonight. I find myself straining to hear even a slight wind rustle through the trees, or a small creature scurry within its brush, but just as a strange noise captures my attention, I'm excitedly distracted when his low, husky voice sleepily greets me from the other end. "Beaner, is that you?"

I chuckle hard at his lifelong endearment before answering, "Of course, bonehead, who the fuck else would it be this time of night? You douche!" My own laugh echoes back at me, causing the joyous sound of our father's tone to play from us both down the phone. "Douche!? Oh really!? Douche!? Is that any way to greet your more handsome, even sexier, older brother, my dear Edward?"

His banter makes me laugh even harder, and the thought makes me miss him just that much more when I reply. "Sorry, bro, it'll never happen again."

Sensing melancholy in my tone, he comes back at me, "Good! Now never let it happen again… you douche!"

For the first time in what seems like forever, we are able to speak freely and, for once, happily over the phone. One thing you have to understand, when I had come to the conclusion that I was finally leaving, when I knew there was no turning back and I wouldn't be returning to the city, and he who shall remain nameless had finally left us alone, excusing himself to the restroom on my last scheduled appointed visit with James, I slid a disposable cell phone under his pillow and whispered a few frantic details into his ear.

So for once in what feels like an eternity, my older brother and I are able to be our goofy selves, and for a little while, we are, until James seriously had enough of my bullshit, and overprotectively starts to question. "So what the fuck is going on, Beaner? Where the hell you at? Please tell me you left that asshole! If so, it's about fucking time, if you ask me."

My excitement and overzealousness get the better of me, and I rush to answer in one breath all his inquiries, before being brought up short by James' attempt at an authoritative tone. "Whoa there, Trigger, take a breath, will ya? One at a time, Mister. I'm blind, not fucking deaf, little bro; no need to scream into my God damn ear, big guy."

Glancing at my alarm clock, realizing how late it had gotten, and not wanting to exhaust my brother, I give him my quick and not completely honest version. And James being James, and always being able to see right through me and call me on my bullshit, quickly put a stop to it. "Okay! I hear ya. I don't buy most of your shit, little bro, but that's all right. By the sound of things, we'll have ample enough time to catch up once you spring me from this joint, and we can finally be a family again." Then I sense his tone lightening as he continues, "So this better be a fucking hot nurse you got for me, Beaner. No rear ends of buses or farm looking animals for your amazing big bro. I know I'm blind, but I still have my senses and imagination, so don't sell a brother short and land him with no ugly chick, dude. And while we're on the subject of getting some, anyone caught your eye yet? Any hot little doctor trying to swoop my little bro off his feet?"

My breath eagerly catches in my throat as my mind quickly wanders to Jasper, catching me a little off guard, making me shift uneasily under the covers and awkwardly having to adjust myself over my sleep pants before sheepishly answering him. "No! Hell no! Of course not. I'm too busy and eager to start my new job to even be looking at other men. Plus shithead was enough for me; I think I'm done with men for a while, if you don't mind."

James laughs hard down the phone before replying, "Oh, methinks you doth protest too much, Beaner. And I call bullshit on your done with men and to hell with them all crap. But that's okay! You have plenty of time, big guy, or do you? Does something drastic happen to gay men when they don't get any, Edward? Will your dick shrivel up and fall off if you don't use it? No! I'm serious, dude! Maybe you should look into grabbing yourself one of those handsome doctors, if for nothing else, medical reasons."

It takes me a second to regain my composure before I answer him lovingly, "Fuck you, James, and fuck your reasons. No! Nothing will shrivel up and fall off. Don't you worry, I'll be just fine on my own for now, thank you very much." It was nice to laugh with him. It was even nicer just being brothers for a while. and it made me long to have him here with me now. It made me excited at the prospect of him once and for all living under the same roof. But before I could get carried away, before I depressed myself even further, I decided it was time to hang up and let my ailing brother get some well-deserved sleep. Dragging out our goodbyes, making promises to talk at the same time the following evening, I sadly hang up the phone, placing my cell on the nightstand. Slipping exhausted under the covers, I fall asleep before my weary head hits the pillow.

My sleep is restless. I'm uneasy and a little scared. Even though I know I'm sleeping, my mind tries its best to play tricks on me, and not let me fall any deeper.

My years with him flash across my thoughts. My brother's hatred of him plays havoc with my memory. The endless arguments James and I would have over him dance like an old time film reel behind my eyelids. But I had been a shithead. I had been a stubborn fool as I fought James hard, as I fought him every step of the way. But he could never give me a straight answer. In my book, back then, he was unable to come up with a good enough excuse for why I shouldn't date him, and finally for why I shouldn't even bother moving in with him. James' determination always shocked me. James' eagerness to have him gone always confused me, even when all the guy had ever done was be good to James and me. Even when all the guy had ever wanted was my happiness. And even though he knew James hated him, even after he knew James loathed the ground he walked on and cursed him from here for a month of Sundays, when James had his near-fatal accident and fell twenty-four stories from that construction site, he came to his rescue and found him the best possible care.

And suddenly shooting straight up in my bed, sweat and goosebumps dancing across my now-flushed skin, his sarcastic tone rolls effortlessly off his sharp tongue and rings deep in my ears._ "Edward, you stupid fuck! Did you really think it was an accident? When, in all these years, have you known James, your walks-on-water big brother, to be so fucking clumsy and careless on the job? Are you still so fucking naive that you still think it was a stupid accident?"_

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**Thank you guys for taking the time to read, I would really like to hear what you thought.**


	3. Chapter 3

**As promised another chapter ready and waiting for your reading pleasure hope you all enjoy.**

**I'd like to thank my awesome beta ****Deβra Ann, her help and insight always comes as a comforting welcome. And as I've said many a time before without her I'd probable be unreadable.**

**Hope you all enjoy.**

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And suddenly shooting straight up in my bed, sweat and goose bumps dancing across my now-flushed skin, his sarcastic tone rolls effortlessly off his sharp tongue and rings deep in my ears._ "Edward, you stupid fuck! Did you really think it was an accident? When, in all these years, have you known James, your walks-on-water big brother, to be so fucking clumsy and careless on the job? Are you still so fucking naive that you still think it was a stupid accident?" _

Needless to say, sleep didn't come easy after that. I found myself tossing and turning, my lean limbs grabbing hold of the blankets, tangling in the sheets, causing my covers to bundle like a ball in the middle, doing their utmost to strangle and suffocate me. After only a few hours, but what felt like an eternity, I decided to get up with the sun and start my day.

As I do my best to distract myself, opening more boxes and rearranging furniture, my mind can't help but wander back to that fateful day, I remember it well, like it happened just yesterday.

_I walked through campus like a proud peacock, my chest blown out and my feathers standing to attention for all to see. I'd made it, I'd gotten into the teaching college of my choice, and I couldn't be any happier. Our parents had left us just enough for me to do so; James was never the college bound type, foregoing furthering his education to work with his hands. He liked construction, he loved getting his hands dirty, and felt accomplished when a job was completed and well done. And having worked hard, never missing a day or showing tardiness by being late, he had finally earned some well-deserved respect and had made foreman, his title consisting of what_ _he called an easier work week and a heftier paycheck. Things were finally starting to look up for us both._

_Don't get me wrong, we still had our moments. We fought daily about my boyfriend. James had never liked him, and the worst about James was if he didn't like you from the start, you were fighting a losing battle and wasting your time and breath trying to make him ever do so, to say my big brother was headstrong and stubborn would be an fucking understatement. He would say his gut had a sense for these things, and it had never steered him wrong, and he wasn't about to let this situation make him second guess himself now. _

_The only real problem I had with it was he chose never to make himself clear on why, which was very unlike him, as we'd always been up front with one another. So that alone became very frustrating on my end. I was always questioning, always inquiring, but James would just roll his eyes and continue to make his little mean comments under his breath when the guy was around. In the hopes of making him feel uncomfortable, I'm sure, and at times purposely being downright rude, trying desperately to chase the boy away. _

_At first I thought it was me. At first I thought he hated the fact that I was gay. I made the decision to come out while still in high school, feeling more comfortable once we'd gotten our own place. James had always been open with me, and I always felt safe enough to tell him anything and everything, so when the time came he seemed okay with it, cockily raising his eyebrow, forging shock. But by the end of our conversation, we were hugging and laughing, and wrestling on the floor like old times, with him telling me that at least he would never have to worry about me falling for any of his girlfriends, and them being stolen away by his younger, smarter, hot looking brother. But as soon as I started dating this guy, all bets seemed to be off, and his rudeness would kick into overdrive, suddenly returning to normal once we were alone again. So after a while, I realized it wasn't me after all, and definitely the guy I was dating._

_At first I loved the fact that my boyfriend tried so hard to get my brother to like him. From time to time, I would chastise James for not trying hard enough and not cutting the boy some slack. But as I pointed out before, it was a losing battle, and one I was unwilling to take on at the moment. My thoughts wandered to our latest argument, it was over coffee that very morning. You see, I'd been asked to move in with said love; I'd been asked to take our relationship to the next level and make our union a permanent one. Though a little wary, I really thought it would be the next mature thing to do. But James couldn't see the sense in it. James wasn't willing to listen to reasoning or see my side; he begged me to hold off, and pleaded with me not to rush into something so life changing, wanting me to finish my education first - become my own man, so to speak, at least wanting me to wait until I'd given it a little more thought. And as I left our apartment, cursing him for trying to be the parent, yet not wanting to think ill of my brother and tell him he was being a selfish bastard, I granted him a small smile and promised that I would spend the rest of the day pondering more, and would let him know for sure over dinner tonight. _

_But as I sat through my first lecture, a little distracted and aimlessly staring into space, I already knew my answer, knowing in my heart what I had to do, sensing in my core what would be the right thing. I'd made up my mind, that yes, James was right, and it definitely was too soon. So after class, as I ran through the halls, eager to get to my next lecture, I called my love and hurriedly explained. To say he was not a happy camper would be an understatement, but within seconds, he reassured me that he understood, dismissing me with the excuse that he had a few urgent calls to make and an errand to run. He was always so busy. Hanging up with him, I softly smiled; his willingness to please me momentarily made me second guess my decision, then James' stern. fatherly voice in my head encouraged me not to rethink, and with an even wider smile and a deep sigh of defeat, I shot James a text, letting him know that, as per usual, he was right - '_Fuck! I'll never live that down_.' - telling him that I'd taken a rain check on us shacking up together. His reply was a stupid smiley face that comically winked. Fuck how I hated those icons, and he knew it, but it made me content knowing that he was finally happy._

_The rest of the day went smoothly. I loved my classes, and excitedly absorbed all the information my professors eagerly put forth, but as I left one room to rush to another, a weird sensation ran through my core. Pushing the classroom door open, I was met with the unexpected sad eyes of the Dean. Mr Bradshaw was leaning against the opposite wall, hands clasped in front of him, a solemn look upon his weathered face, and in that instant, something told me to check my silenced cell phone._

_Immediately panic set in. My vision became blurred as I stared at the screen, as shivers ran my spine, playing it like a xylophone when I realized I had so many missed calls and texts. My heart pounded hard in my chest as I frantically cursed my quivering hands, cause my fingers weren't quick enough to scroll through each and every one before another was coming in. Some numbers I recognized instantly, others were unfamiliar, those being the ones that made me the most nervous. What the fuck was going on? What the hell had happened that would make people do their utmost to blow up my phone? Running a shaking finger over the black button, I hit call, desperately wanting to hear James' voice, knowing if anything, he would be the one to calm me and eagerly answer all my questions. _

_Dean Bradshaw took this opportunity to push himself from the wall and walk attentively in my direction. I raised a hand to ward him off. I pointed a finger, beseeching him not to come any closer. Cause really, I knew. Honestly, I didn't want to hear what I suspected he already had wind of - something bad had happened, something terrible had gone down. And my heart had a sinking feeling in the pit of it, doing its best to let me know that I wasn't going to like the outcome. And as I begrudgingly let my dry lips mouth my brother's name, Dean Bradshaw's eyes slowly closed, and he knowingly nodded his head in answer, reaching for my phone removing it from my ear he quietly closed it, abruptly disconnecting my call that had just disappointingly gone to James' voice mail._

_The rest of the afternoon consisted of people surrounding me, speaking in rushed sentences and hushed conversations. I remember sitting in Dean Bradshaw's study, a crystal glass of bitter dark liquid clasped between my shaky fingers. My head was spinning, I couldn't hold an intelligent thought. It felt like a draining colander being filled with information, but the tiny holes and gaps in my morning were causing my brain to perseveringly filter out what it didn't at this moment want to comprehend. _

_There had been an accident at the site, James had been hurt, but how? James had fallen twenty-four stories__, but why? I couldn't wrap my head around it; this could never and would never happen. James was always reassuring me about his safety, painstakingly taking precautions to make sure of it. His sites were known for their high safety ratings, he was respected because he looked after his workers so well, diligently taking measures to make sure his men had the best working conditions, sometimes even pissing of the big bosses and turning down some work when he thought his boys were not going to be properly taken care of or their wellbeing not coming into play. So James being hurt had to be a mistake, James being rushed to the hospital had to be a misunderstanding. I nervously sat quietly sipping on the bitter bourbon, doing my utmost to hold a God damn thought as I waited for my boyfriend to arrive and take me to my brother's side. _

I jump and drop the book I had been placing on the bookshelf, the thud bringing me out of my disturbing musing while the sound of the doorbell crudely drags me back to reality. Cusing my past, so riddled with nightmares and insecurities, I take a second to run my trembling hand through my hair as I hurriedly make my way to the door. Annoyingly pulling it opened, not really wanting company at this moment, but silently praying for the distraction, my mood suddenly lifts as a sheepish but devilishly handsome Jasper Cullen stands a little uncomfortable like, on my front stoop. And as my eyes drink him in, the morning sun catching his blonde locks, but the tall trees casting dim shadows on his gorgeous face, I can't help but groan low and deep in my chest. The heat, as it rises on my skin, pulls me out of whatever lustful daydream I'm having, causing me to embarrassingly whimper when we make eye contact, and I notice his stare is squinted and his brow frowned in anxiousness and confusion.

He's the first to regain his composure as he inquires. "Good morning Edward, I just dropped by to make sure all is well with you. I know I left in somewhat of a hurry last night, but I assure you, I had an urgent matter to attend to, and would never have left you alone if I'd thought even for a second that you were in any danger." Granting him a small smile and a quick nod, I answer. "I'm fine, Jasper, no worries, all is well here, as I explained yesterday. I'm an anxious fool sometimes, and I have a tendency to let things get to me easily, but I'm sure your Mother has told you our visit ended well, and after that, I slept like a newborn. I'm taken aback as a low steamy hiss releases itself from his lips and his eyes narrow to dark slits. But the instant the expression dawned on his features, it vanished just as quickly, and before I could question, it was replaced with sharp amber eyes and a pearly white grin.

Easily gliding past me, he makes his way to my living room, and grabbing a book from one of the boxes, he attentively fingers the leather binding then smirks.

Unable to hold my thought, I question, "What!?"

Raising the book with a small smile, he shyly answers, "Les Liaisons dangereuses!" Coughing softly, he repeats himself. "Oh, I'm sorry! How rude of me, I mean Dangerous Liaisons by Pierre Chod..." I cut him off abruptly by joining him in unison "Pierre Choderlos de Laclos, I know. You know of his work?"

He smiles inwardly, seeming lost in thought for a second before answering. "Well kinda, the eighteenth century libertine has always intrigued me. Even as a young boy, erotic novels were my downfall."

Carefully retrieving the book from his cool grip and placing it on the shelf beside the others, I mock him innocently, "Erotic novels, Jasper? Like seriously? I'd thought good old porn would have been more your speed. God knows it helped me out a few times during my teenage years."

Slowly turning, hoping to all hell that I'd see at least a tiny smile or naughty grin on his face, desperately wanting him to get my humor, I mentally high five myself when he doesn't disappoint. His eyes meet mine, and I swear they seem to sparkle with mirth and darken.

Suddenly embarrassed, lowering his gaze, he quickly changes course and heads for the kitchen, surprising me a little when he smugly questions over his shoulder. "Straight or gay porn, Edward? I myself prefer gay."

Hurriedly following behind, his remark causing me to lose my footing, having to hold my hand in front to catch myself on the door frame, I bashfully answer, "Gay!"

Nonchalantly grabbing two bottles of water from the fridge and tossing one in my direction, he slyly grins and nods knowingly.

We spend the rest of the morning drowning ourselves in information. Now that some tension seems lifted, I can finally stop childishly fantasizing over the boy, and lose myself in the man. His knowledge of the arts and history enthralls me; he's like a walking encyclopedia - a sponge - I don't think there's anything he's ever seen or read that he hasn't taken the time to absorb. His ability to comprehend, his insight into the world around him and all its wonders, captivates and amazes me to no end. I'm pleased with his willingness to listen and ask questions, and satisfied at finally being heard, and the thought that my advice is sought after electrifies me. We talk for hours without missing a beat. My head spins as one subject quickly and excitingly leads to another, without hesitation or boredom. And before I know it, before I have a second to think of the time spent, he is rising to his feet and I'm pouring his untouched but opened bottle of water down the sink. As I hear the swishing sound, I'm brought back to the evening prior, when doing the same for Esme's tea. But my thought is soon forgotten when Jasper places a cooling palm on my lower back, claiming my attention and informing me that it's time for him to go.

The remainder of my day is filled with more unpacking and furniture rearranging, stopping only a few times for water and snack breaks. My mind wanders to Esme and Jasper's visits, and I thank all that is listening that I have found such wonderful caring people. _'Maybe a little strange, not able to put my finger on it, but caring nonetheless.' _As I return to the first floor, having left the last of the empty packing boxes in the basement, I jump slightly when the house phone rings. _'Like seriously! Who the hell calls a house phone these days? I only got the damn thing cause it came with the cable package. God forbid James don't get to watch – well, listen now - to his precious sports. The dude's lucky I love him. I couldn't really care less, even though I've been known and have had the pleasure of partaking in a few of his awesome Sunday afternoon sports soirees from time to time.'_

Expecting a salesperson hoping to sell me some swampland in Florida or a monthly subscription to Gynecology Weekly, I lift the receiver hurriedly and huff childishly into the phone, "This better be fucking good, asshole. Better not be wasting my time," only to choke back the last word when Carlisle Cullen's' unsure voice spills from the other end.

"Edward!? Edward, is that you? Is this the Mason residence? Can I speak with Edward please?"

Holding the receiver against my chest tight, hoping to block my disgust with myself, stamping my foot like a four-year-old, and cursing my attempt at trying to be cocky to all hell, I take a deep breath, give a small cough, and as politely as I can muster, I answer, "Oh, I'm sorry, Carlisle, forgive my rudeness. I was honestly expecting someone else to be on the other end of the line." Listening nervously to the silence, anxiously wanting him to say something – anything - to break the tension, then sighing a breath of relief when he does. "Oh, Edward, you're fine, I understand. You forget I've raised a few kids of own, and I know my memory is not what it used to be, but I'm sure I was young myself at some point." He chuckles deep into the receiver, helping me loosen up a little and follow suit. "I'm sure you were a force to be reckoned with, Dr Cullen. And not to cut you off or change the subject, but was there a reason for this delightful call?"

Hearing the sound of papers being rustled, attentively hanging in dead air, the mood shifts when he finally answers, "Oh that's right. Sorry, how rude of me. Esme tells me you have a brother, with - how can I put this politely? – needs, that you are hoping to have move in with you as soon as possible, is that information correct?"

Smiling wide, I answer him, "Yes! Yes, it's my older brother, James. At the moment, he is in a special care facility right outside New York, but I'm hoping to get him here as soon as I'm able." Carlisle's' voice turns to a whisper, then loud again. I expect he changed ears and made himself comfortable before continuing. "Well, I think I'll be able to help you with this matter. Give me the hospital number, so I can have them fax me over all his details, and we can quickly expedite this. And just so you know, as James will now be under my care, I'm able to personally assign a nurse to him, and if you don't mind, I'd like Rose for the job. She's strong enough to be left alone with your brother, and seriously she needs to learn one on one handling of a patient, so it will being doing us both a favor if you don't mind." Grabbing my wallet from my back jeans pocket, excitedly reading off James' doctors names and numbers, I hang up the phone, thanking Dr. Cullen with all that I have, him reassuring and leaving me with promises that if he has his way, my brother should be home within the next few days.

After a quick dinner, I spend the rest of the evening clearing what little I have in the dining room, making space for the hospital bed and equipment Carlisle has promised. Then, content with my progress, I turn in for the night. In the hopes of taking a quick shower, I enter the bathroom, and my eyes automatically dart to the towel rack. A nervous tremor runs down my spine as I take in the neatly stacked towels. They're uniform, they're even, they are way too fucking neat for my liking. Fisting the one around my waist, pulling it tighter, I whole body spin, desperately trying to take in the view of the small master bathroom all at once. I breathe a little easier when all seems normal enough, opening drawers cupboards and the medicine cabinet, my nerves subsiding when I notice nothing else seems to have been touched or moved for that matter. But the scene has confused me. It makes me second guess myself, making me wonder and doubt._ 'Did I do it? Would I do it out of habit? Maybe I did.'_

Doing my best to shake it off, kicking myself inwardly for being so paranoid, I proceed to get cleaned up. A hurried, somewhat painful shave, unable to pay myself much mind as my eyes dart between and over every shiny or shadowed surface as it comes into focus behind me in the mirror. A quick uncomfortable shower, as I sheepishly climb in under the hot steam, my mind way too distracted to regulate the temperature, and although the moisture should be soothing my pains and worries away, I find every noise, every bump in the night behind the shower door, makes me stop in my tracks, fall silent and anxiously wait for my nightmare to begin. Unable to stand it much longer, my skin tingling from the heat rash now forming, and tension building in my churning gut, I eagerly slide the door and step onto the chilling bathroom floor.

Drying off, discarding the towels in the hamper, I roughly grab my sleep pants from the rank and hurriedly head for my room. Smirking a little childishly to myself, I lean in and ruffle the delicate little hand towels on my way by, doing my best to give them a lived in look, just wanting to shake them up a little, unable to bear them being so military like. Giving the space a final once over, I hit the light switch, and within seconds I'm slipping exhaustedly under the covers.

As I patiently wait for the line to be picked up, doing my best to calm my overzealous heart and my darndest to control my nervous breathing, I listen for the tiny creatures of the night to make an appearance, once again finding myself surprised at how eerily silent the forest is tonight, but as a lone owl hoots in the far distance and an excited "Beaner my boy" greets me from the other end of the phone, I relax, feeling my nerves ease and my smile grow wide, causing me to deeply sigh into the receiver. "Jamie!"

The air falls silent for a second before he worriedly questions, "Uh-oh, what the hell happened? You haven't called me Jamie since you were twelve, dude."

Pinching the bridge of my nose, squeezing my eyes tight, I answer, "It's nothing, really it ain't. Just being in a new place, I guess. Everything that goes bump in the night, or day for that matter, seems to make me jump out of my skin is all."

I hear him huff disgustedly before he questions, "So can you tell me these things that are making my baby bro so nervous and resort back to his childhood? Or do I have drag them screaming and a kicking from ya, dude?"

Not feeling the need to hold back any longer, I proceed to quickly fill James in on some of the happenings around here. He listens patiently as I ramble away, adding an inquiring or agreeing sound every once in a while, encouraging me to continue, egging me on, and within half an hour, he has the full story.

Leaning on my elbows stretching my neck, I sip from the bottled water I had placed on my nightstand earlier, my mouth having run dry as I nervously replayed the last few days for James. I eagerly wait for his diagnoses, assuming that he'll make fun of his crazy brother, and that the jokes will shortly follow. But when he's giving it some thought, and I wait patiently while his wheels spin. I sigh in relief when he quietly answers. "Do you think douchebag knows where you're at? I seriously wouldn't put it past the bastard to try and hunt you down, just to make your life a living hell."

My head starts spinning, and an uneasy feeling rumbles in the pit of my stomach, when I quickly recall all the similarities, then do my best to ward them off. "Nah! I don't see him doing that. I know he had a little temper and was overly protective of me, but he knows we're done, and he has no idea where to find me."

My eyes spring open with shock at his angry tone when his voice raises on the phone. "Bull shit, Edward! Who the fuck you trying to kid? A little temper!? And protective!? Like really? Damn it! I've stayed quiet long enough, dude. I'm tired of this shit, and so should you be. When I get there, you and I are seriously having a long overdue heart to heart, little bro. There's really some shit you need to know, about Mister overly protective."

I feel the sour bile rise on my tongue. Urgently grabbing the water again, I chug it down like my life depends on it before I respond. "I know, James, I hear ya. There's stuff you need to know, and some things I need the answers to, and I know you do as well. Hopefully when you get here, we can put this all to rest." Thankful when he agrees with me, I relax when his tone changes for the better, and on a happier note, I proceed to fill him in on my conversation with Dr. Cullen. My chest puffs and I smile inwardly, when he verbally pats me on the back for making such awesome new friends. Our talk ends with a few laughs and myself trying desperately to describe to him an outwardly cold, but still very hot looking blonde nurse by the name of Rose.

Hanging up the phone, I sink beneath the covers, and before I've even fully rolled onto my side, I feel myself slip into a deep well deserved sleep.

"Edward?" My ears hum in excitement at the sound of his voice. "Edward, are you awake?" Doing my best to open my weary eyes, I hum delightfully, letting him know that I hear him, but need a minute to comprehend. Turning on my side, letting my vision come into focus, I smile without worry as I see Jasper's happy face looking back at me from the opposite side of the bed. We're mirrored, he's on his side, both hands under his head, a naughty grin equal to mine I'm sure dons his handsome face. And as I let my lips part, eager to question and do my best to understand, he places a chilling finger upon my mouth and shushes me.

"Please don't ruin it, Edward. Please don't be mad, just try and understand. I feel the need to be close to you. For some reason, I have an urge to protect and take care of you. I've been waiting a long time for you - a lifetime so to speak. And now that I've finally found you, now that you're finally here, I don't want to miss out or lose a single second."

Grinning at his tenderness, shyly smiling at his honesty, I answer, "I'm not mad, not mad at all; just curious. You've been waiting? A lifetime? But how, Jasper? Up until a few days ago, you didn't even know I existed."

My breath hitches in my throat when he lovingly continues. "My heart has known, Edward. It always has."

Slightly shivering at his touch, willingly letting him take me in his arms, I melt onto his hard surface and moan deep when his lips finally come in contact with my own. At first it's timid and soft, just exploring each other's mouths, his tongue dancing across mine. I listen intently as his low chesty groans echo in my ears and his whimpering moans match my own.

My heart starts to beat loud in my chest as I feel his hand roam my back and pull me tighter. It's been forever since I've felt this way, if I'm being honest. It's been forever since I've been treated this way. So wanting to be loved, longing to be cherished and taken care of, I sink deeper into his grasp and let him take the lead.

Within seconds, he's above me. My mind freezes, unable to recall when we got naked, as my flesh tingles and my heart races when his hard length glides deliciously along mine. But the second his lean fingers find their way to my hair and he attacks my mouth with excited vigor, I let all worries and confusion drift away, trying desperately to hold on to this feeling.

He whispers my name onto the air as his cool lips travel the length of my neck, causing tiny goose bumps to play upon my fevered skin. My head is floating, my anxious breath constantly being caught in my throat each time he mumbles an endearment or his mouth lands on a certain spot. And as I feel his teeth oh-so-gently tighten around a hardened nipple, I fist his golden locks and hiss into the night when his long fingers engulf my hard, aching cock and his strong hand takes hold.

My back arches off the bed when he slowly starts to pump. I feel my belly tighten when my nipple is released, and I sense the direction his mouth is now heading. _'Fuck! I need to hold on! Dammit to hell if I end this too soon!'_ Grabbing the sheets, my white knuckled grip centering me and helping me focus, I whimper shamelessly when Jasper loosens his grip on my aching cock, listening somewhat embarrassedly as he chuckles deep onto my skin. "Don't worry so much, Edward. Relax, I'm here to take care of you." That thought alone makes me want to come. His caring words do not help one fucking bit. But I'm pulled up short, and decide never to think again, as seriously, I'm unable when his velvet lips continue on their journey across my flesh.

And finally! _'Not a moment too soon, if I may add,'_ I gasp aloud when his mouth parts and my dick slips painstakingly slow to the back of his cold throat. At first I'm taken aback, my mind trying its best to understand and conceive why the hell its so cold, but as he smothers me with his lips and carefully drags his teeth the length of my shaft, all coherent thoughts are forgotten, and the wonder that is Jasper's mouth starts to take me places I've never been before and overwhelms me.

He seems to be in no hurry. Every move is calculated and precise. I become somewhat flushed, and I find my eagerness embarrassing and childish as I try desperately to buck hard onto his face. Grabbing his hair, knotting it tight in my fists, I encourage him forward, silently begging him for more. My groans rumble deep in my chest and I release them into the humid night air, holding his head tight, whimpering a 'Fuck me Jasper!" When I feel a smooth, cool digit slip ever so gently into my willing ass, I explode with the utmost of force and, empty all that I have into Jasper's very talented, but on so ready mouth.

I don't have a minute to think, not a second to catch my breath, when suddenly he's on his knees, his long, hard cock in hand. Grinning widely, hovering over me, he positions himself at my entrance. Not second guessing or over thinking too much, I eagerly wrap my long legs around his waist, drawing him closer and easing him in.

I swear my heart stops for a second, and I'm finding it hard to catch my breath as he slowly presses forward and fills me. A low hearty "Fuck" hums onto my neck, and my fingers claw at his back, pulling him even tighter, if possible, as my name, along with his, dances on the air above us when he effortlessly begins to drive into me.

My chest gallops with excitement when he takes hold and takes charge. Rising above me, his gleaming skin caught by the moonlight, I watch and listen in awe as he lustfully throws his head back and groans hard when my blunt fingernails drag along his bare chest. Reaching up, wrapping my hands around his neck, pulling him to me, I arch my back when my hard again dick presses deliciously against his taut belly. I don't have the willpower to hold on. I don't have the strength of fight this feeling any longer. The urge to have him fill me takes over, the need to be full of him wins out, as I passionately whisper and downright beg in his ear, "Please, Jasper! Come for me." And with a few powerful strokes and what feels like only seconds, I feel my own belly tighten, the cramps causing it to flip and flop within, dragging him down, pulling him closer, gasping for air when my hot fluid paints his and my skin. My body starts to convulse when Jasper starts to tremble above me with a release of his own.

Unable and unwilling to open my eyes, wanting to bask in the bliss of our love making, I lay sweaty and slightly shaky. I'm content in feeling Jasper's weight, exhausted and spent above me. There's no urgency to move, no expectancy to end this. But as my heart slows to a comfortable pace and my labored breathing returns to somewhat normal, a distant sound catches my ears and my fevered skin begins to prickle uneasily. _'Water?'_

Not daring to open my lids, squeezing them tighter, tiny sparks dancing behind them under the strain, I gasp aloud when I feel the chill of emptiness surround me, and realize that I am unmistakably alone. Without having to see, but every nerve of my core knowing, my body shivers when I sense what's about to come next. My heart stops dead within me when I hear the bathroom door swing open. The sound of the pounding water from the faucet drums loudly in my ears, causing them to hum and whistle with a high pitched tone in response. And then as my breath nervously hitches, I once again hear his sarcastic tone roll effortlessly off his sharp tongue.

"_Edward!? Edward!? Fucking look at me, boy! You had to let him touch you, didn't ya? Your whoring self just couldn't wait. I told ya before, Edward. No one, and I mean fucking no one, touches you but me. You are mine. Cause! I! Fucking! Won!"_

_And before I know it, before I can scream and beg Jasper for help. I'm crudely lifted, crushed possessively to his broad chest and hurriedly rushed to the tiny bathroom and forcefully thrown into the hot, steamy water._

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**Thank you guys for once again taking the time to read, I would really love to hear your thoughts on this one**.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Hope you all had a wonderful holiday. Lets start the new year with a new chapter.**

**I'd like to thank my awesome beta** **Deβra Anne** **for editing this draft so speedily the woman rocks my world. **

**Hope you all enjoy.**

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"_Edward!? Edward!? Fucking look at me, boy! You had to let him touch you, didn't ya. Your whoring self just couldn't wait. I told ya before, Edward. No one, and I mean fucking no one, touches you, but me. You are mine. Cause! I! Fucking! Won!"_

_And before I know it, before I can scream and beg Jasper for help, I'm crudely lifted, crushed possessively to his broad chest and hurriedly rushed to the tiny bathroom and forcefully thrown into the hot, steamy water._

I jump with a startle, my arms and legs wildly furling within the sheets. Soaked to the skin and inwardly screaming, I find I'm unable to free my dampened self from the tangled blankets. I'm deafened by the loud pounding of my heart in my tired ears, as my eyes nervously scan the darkened room. Searching the shadows and corners, my throat stings and contracts anxiously as I wait for something – anything - to go bump in the night.

Swinging my shaky legs to the floor, arms tight at my sides, my trembling hands gripping the mattress for dear life, I once again curse my past and myself for enabling it to still affect me.

Grabbing my robe from the hook on the back of the bedroom door, I head downstairs, wanting to make myself a hot cup of soothing tea. Sitting at the kitchen table, I take a minute to reflect back to the day it all started. Don't get me wrong, it was always there. There was always signs, but I was unable to see them; or if I'm really being honest, I was basically choosing not to. I guess at first I couldn't pinpoint or figure out just what was happening.

Rubbing my temples, sipping slowly on my hot tea, my belly nervously flips, unable to let go and release my dream of Jasper. It was so surreal – lifelike, in fact - I can still smell his sweet, musky scent dance across my fevered skin and his cooling touch play upon its goosebumps. Softly tracing my quivering dry lips with the tips of my fingers, I sigh deeply when I sadly realize my mind not only brought me nightmares, but was also doing its best to play cruel tricks upon my weary heart.

Letting my eyes fall shut, drawing a deep breath into my painful, exhausted lungs, I do my best to push my Jasper fantasy to the furthermost part of my demented brain, instead letting my mind begrudgingly wander back to that very first day, the day I should have taken heed, the day I should have known better and run.

It was subtle at first, little stupid things really, a remark here, a rude comment there. I knew in my heart they were wrong; I knew it wasn't the way you treated or talked to someone you were supposedly in love with. But at first, my mind couldn't comprehend that he would do such a thing, my brain was unable to wrap itself around the fact that he might just be downright cruel and a serious control freak, so I always felt the need to brush them off or make excuses for them.

'_I think the first time it got physical was the coffee incident, or should I say the first time I started to take notice of how careless he was with my feelings. It had to be that day, it was such a fucked up day.' _Thinking back, remembering harder, I decided,_ 'Yep! That was the day. That fucking cup of God damn coffee. We were still in high school. I really shouldn't have had him over, but he could be very persuasive at times. Now looking back, I realize he was just a manipulating fuck._

_Being two years older than me, and the fact that he had even taken notice in the first place was a complete and utter shock. But day after day, he persuaded me. Day after day, he made it a point to make sure I knew he was interested. And douchebag me fell for it hook, line and sinker. Asshole me was swept off my sissy little school girl God damn feet. James, on the other hand, was not so easily impressed. We fought daily about this guy's intentions. We argued mercilessly regarding his overzealous and influential ways. But love-struck me wouldn't listen. Infatuated me__ yearned to belong._

_I remember it was a school day and we'd skipped, informing James that I was being picked up, so I wouldn__'t__ be unable to accompany him to the train. He left, glancing suspiciously over his shoulder, reminding me sternly that no one, and he means no one, especially douchebag, was allowed in our home without supervision. Guiltily diverting my eyes, I sheepishly nod as I crudely push him out the front door, promising and reminding him that I knew the rule and it would never be broken. Hurriedly closing the door with a loud bang as he left, I lean back against the chilling wood, desperately trying to catch my lying sack of shit breath and convince myself that what I'm about to do is right._

_Today was the day, you know!? The day!? Yeah that day! We'd discussed it endlessly. Well, if truth be told, he had. He'd finally come to the decision that we needed to move our relationship to the next level, informing me that no one would wait as long as he had. No one would be patient enough to put up with my over-thinking sissy, bull shit ways. So after some thought and a lot of persuading from him, I un-excitedly and wearily agreed. _

_I hear high insight is half the battle, damn! If I only knew then, what I know now. But of course I was young, naive, and totally fucking stupid, so I'm guessing nothing could have stopped me._

_I remember shifting on my socked feet as the chill from the kitchen floor ran through my bones. My body trembling from the pain that surged along my spine, I gently swayed my hips, knowing for damn sure that by this evening, there'll be fingertip bruises tattooed upon them, from his life depending grip. _

_I cringe when a sharp bolt of discomfort runs between my ass cheeks, My legs are weak, jelly like, almost feeling the need to white-knuckle the old Formica counter-top, as I wait not so patiently for the fucking coffee his lordship ordered, to hurry the hell up and brew. _

_My head spins in confusion and my chest hurts, due to the anxiety knot swirling in my belly. I'd heard the first time was uncomfortable, and could be somewhat painful, but to categorize the agony I was in at this very moment as 'somewhat,' would be a fucking understatement. _

_He wouldn't listen. The fucker paid me no mind. He just barreled forward without a care in the God damn world. Don't get me wrong, he had words to encourage me forward, pep talks to cheer me along and kind words to console me when I cried, but I didn't fucking care, and his words didn't mean squat to me. His little beads of wisdom fell upon deaf ears when his actions contradicted each and every sentence he breathed. The bastard was hurting me, and he fucking knew it._

_I knew when it was over, I would need a hot bath to soak in, seriously thinking in the back of my mind that I really could use a doctor, but I quickly dismissed that childish thought when the covers were crudely swiped from me and I was ordered to make him some fresh coffee. _

_I remember looking at him angrily, I felt the vain pulsate in my forehead as his boyish puppy dog eyes pleaded devilishly with me. Utterly outraged, I snorted in frustration, dishearteningly agreeing as I sheepishly swing my legs over the side of the bed and awkwardly pull on my sweats. _

_So as I stand trembling, in pain and discomfort, listening as his lordship sings at the top of his out of tune lungs under the steamy water of a hot shower, I swear to anything that will hear me that this, whatever this is or was, will never happen a-fucking-gain._

_I prepare the cup dutifully, as he had requested. Even though my hands still trembled, something inside still felt the need to please him and keep the peace. And as he entered the kitchen, disgustingly giving the little space a discerning once over, I weakly smile in his direction, already knowing what disapproving thoughts are swirling through his right-side-of-the-tracks mind. _

_Doing my best to quickly distract him, I sip on my hot tea while I push his cup across the table in the direction of the chair facing me. He sits down with a happy thud, reminding me of a kid in a candy store, or as they say the cat that got the canary. His smile is wide as he adjusts his shirt sleeves, folding them to the elbow just the way he liked them. But the smile never reaches his eyes, and is not long lived once he takes a large gulping mouthful of the hot liquid._

_My eyes shut instantly, instinctively holding my breath as the hot fluid covers my entire face. Bile rising at the back of my throat, I gag forcefully when I realize he's just covered me in spit._

"_What the fuck! Edward? Are you trying to fucking poison me?" His harsh tone rings in my ears. _

_Urgently reaching for a napkin, frantically wiping down my drenched face, I question, "What? What did I do wrong?"_

"_What the fuck did you do wrong, Edward? What do you call this? Cause it sure as hell ain't coffee."_

_Rushing to my feet, I grab the coffee can from the cupboard and shove it in his direction. Wanting him to know, wanting him to see, that yes, it was, cause it says so on the bright, shiny blue tin. _

_Pushing back the chair, coming to stand with his fists on the table, he begins to hysterically laugh. I'm looking at him in confusion, all wide-eyed and gaping mouth, cause seriously, I really think he's lost his mind. And within seconds, he's on me. I'm bent back over the sink, his huge hand engulfs my jaw and his fingers pry my lips apart as he crudely proceeds to pour the hot offensive liquid down my throat. _

_My eyes sting, unable to stop the liquid from finding its way under my lashes. My ears fill as it runs over my cheekbones and into my hair, and I gag, doing my best not to drown in the bitter taste as the hot coffee floods to the back of my mouth. I hear him yell. Between the whooshing sounds and the choking, I can still hear his sarcastic tone ring in the air. _

"_This is not fucking coffee, Edward! This is dishwater. Only your brother would be the one unintelligent enough to refer to this slop as God damn coffee." _

_Clawing at his shirt, unable to stay focused, feeling as his buttons give under my grip, I try desperately to open my eyes and silently plead with him for my life. But he doesn't pay me any mind. His face is angry and distorted. He's deafened by his own stupid rage._

"_Being a guest in your home, Edward, and after giving you what should have been the fuck of your life, I expected to be treated with a little more respect, boy. Next time, Mister, looks like I have to bring my own fucking coffee, not that I should be surprised. It is up to me to show you Mason boys the finer things in life, now isn't it?" _

_Pulling back, his eyes glancing at the kitchen counter, he throws me the dish towel and orders me to dry off. I stand dumbfounded, shaking to the core, unable to understand what the fuck just happened, and before I have a minute to think, before I have a second to plead my case, he straightens his shirt, refolds his disheveled sleeves, kisses me on the forehead, and yells back a quick, "Call ya later, babe. Thanks for everything. Gotta run, cause fuck knows I now have to make a detour for some decent coffee just to get home on time."_

_And with that, he's gone, and I'm left soaked, sticky and trembling in our tiny little kitchen, and have never touched or made another cup of coffee since._

_Of course, he called later and apologized. That was something he'd always been good at. He promised me he'd change, even offering to get some help with his temper. And stupid me was always so easily willing to forgive. Stupid me was always so easily able to give him that second chance. And for a while all things would return to normal and he would be his charming, loving self, until he felt himself crossed once more. And with that, the fuckery had begun, and I started to live life in fear of ever crossing him and doing my utmost to keep him happy and pleased. _

I startle when I hear the doorbell. Glancing at the kitchen clock, I notice it's only five AM._ 'Who the hell could this be? Who the fuck comes to visit at this ungodly hour?' _Pulling my robe tighter, I hesitate for a second in the hallway. Turning on the porch light, I pull back the small curtain. My brow furrows in confusion as I watch Jasper peek sheepishly to the side and grin wide at my reflection. Slowly opening the door, I immediately question, "Jasper?"

He bounces on his toes, pushing back the hood of his sweatshirt. Seemingly out of breath, he addresses me, "I'm sorry to bother you, Edward. I'm out for my morning run, and I noticed your kitchen light was on and wanted to make sure all was well with you."

Pulling the door open, gesturing him to enter the hallway, I worriedly inform him, "I had a bad dream is all, needed some soothing tea to calm my nerves. I have extra if you're interested?"

"That would be lovely. Don't mind if I do." Slipping his hoodie over his head, revealing his somewhat dampened tee shirt, he nonchalantly makes his way to the kitchen. I swallow hard as I watch his muscles play beneath the thin fabric. Remembering my dream, I do my best to tug my robe even tighter, immediately trying to hide the reaction my body has to him.

Glancing in my direction, coughing softly, his amber eyes knowingly travel the length of me as he swiftly seats himself at my table. He inquires, "Bad dreams, huh? Anything you feel the need to share? Something I can help you with?"

Pouring him a hot cup of tea, pushing the cream and sugar in his direction, noticing that he doesn't touch it, just pushes the containers back into the center of the table again, I answer, "I doubt it, Jasper. I have way too much past for anyone to help with. Seriously though, I don't think there's anything anyone can do, unless you're any good at exorcising demons?"

Before the cup reaches his mouth, he abruptly places it back on the table then questions, "Demons? Really, Edward? Seriously! It can't be that bad, can it?"

I take another slow sip before I answer, "Nah! Not as bad as demons, but believe me, Jasper, some nights it seems close enough."

We sit in silence for a few, me sipping on another cup of hot tea while Jasper watches. It's weird, but usually I'd feel uncomfortable by now. Usually I'd feel mentally undressed. But I don't. I can't put my finger on it, but his gaze calms me. His presence alone puts me at ease. Then without awkwardness or annoyance, he begins to speak, "Can I ask you something? No need to answer, if it makes you uneasy. I really would like to help, you know, but I'll need some truthful answers."

Placing my cup on the table, folding my shaky fingers around the warm container, I nod.

"Has this got anything to do with the intruder from the other day? Is someone trying to hurt you, Edward? If so, I have the means to help, you know. We could work something out."

I stare at him, seriously unable, or maybe unwilling, to come up with a good enough lie that would sustain him for now. Between him and James and their intruder scenario, and my own suspicions, I really don't know what the hell to think anymore. I'm starting to second guess myself; I'm starting to think that I'm finally losing my mind.

Sighing deeply, taking one more sip, I softly continue. "It's a long story, Jasper, one I don't think you're prepared to hear right now. But between you and my brother, I think I'm starting to put two and two together, and finally not coming up with three."

My eyes dart to his when I feel his cool touch wrap around my fingers, realizing that my fist is clenched and my knuckles are white. "Believe me, Edward, I have all the time in the world, and even if I didn't, I'd make it somehow, right now for you." His amber eyes encourage me to continue, the soft swirl of his thumb across the back of my hand enables me to go on.

In no time at all, feeling spent and weary, I'm taken out of my verbal musing when I hear the birds chirping in the trees surrounding us. I had finally told Jasper Cullen, who up until a few short days ago was just a total stranger, the story of my life. From my parents' deaths, to the boy I first fell in love with, the arguments and fights with James, the accident, to the man I had come to fear.

And the whole time, he sat attentively listening, not moving a muscle, blinking an eye or missing a beat. He never once interrupted. He never once second guessed or questioned. From the time it took me to start to my life's completion, he patiently just held my hand.

Running his fingers through his hair, he sits a little straighter before speaking. "If all you say is true…" Holding his hands in front of him, he takes a surrendering stance. "And don't get me wrong, I believe you, even though your story is at times somewhat fucked up, I wholeheartedly believe you. I've seen a lot of shit in this lifetime, Edward." He huffs aloud and releases a dark, haunted chuckle before continuing. "But this is serious, we can't take this lightly. I need to talk to my family first, of course, but I'm sure there's something we can do to help."

I press my fingers to my temple, trying to ward off my impending headache, cringing inwardly the instant the Cullen family is mentioned. "I can't have you do that, Jasper, if it's who we think it is, I can't have your family put in harm's way. I just couldn't live with myself if something were to happen to yo..your family, because of me."

He leans back in his chair and smiles wide, folds his arms across his strong chest and proceeds to do his best to settle my wretched nerves.

"Don't you worry about my family, Edward, we can be very resourceful when need be. There's a lot you don't know about us, but it will all become clearer in due time, I promise you that. But for now, all I need from you is your trust. Do you trust me? Are you willing and able to put your life," he huffed sarcastically, making me frown a little, then continued, "in my hands? And really, it's not much of a life, Edward, is it? God damn it! If you can do nothing without fear, unable to make a move without having to second guess or look over your shoulder for things that may or may not go bump in the night, then no - it's no life at all. Am I right?"

Leaning forward and resting my head in the palm of my hands, all I can muster is a defeated nod. "You're right, Jasper, absolutely right! I came here to start anew, afresh. But suddenly I feel like I'm falling backwards, once again feeling useless and helpless. This all God damn needs to stop, and it needs to end now. I'm sick and tired of always being afraid. I want to start living again."

Looking at him with what I'm sure is a worn, totally exhausted expression on my tired face, I do my best to give his pitiful gaze a small smile.

Reaching across the table, once more taking my hand in his, he sighs deeply. "Go get dressed, Edward. Time to go pay the rest of the Cullens a visit."

Rising from the the table, glancing over my shoulder, I inquire, "I just don't want to barge in, Jasper. It's still early, you know? Won't they be mad?" Standing and taking our cups to the sink, he answers, "Don't worry, Edward, they won't be. I'm sure by now they're expecting us."

A little confused at his statement, but not willing to question, I head upstairs. Listening as Jasper's cold tea gets flushed down the sink, my mind momentarily flips to my last couple of Cullen visits. But I have to quicken my step and forget my musing when he comically yells after me, "Chop chop, Mr. Mason! Don't wanna keep one Esme Cullen waiting now, do ya?"

Before closing my bedroom door, I chuckle and respond, "Hell no!"

Nervous and apprehensive, I find myself gripping onto the steering wheel for dear life. Amazed at how short a drive it really is from my house to theirs, we'd only made it a few miles down the road, and within seconds, Jasper was directing me to turn into his driveway. I huffed inwardly. _'Cause seriously! We could have walked this shit. It wouldn't have taken us long at all.'_ But then I found myself gasping in astonishment when it all came into view. The drive might have been a brief one from my house to the entrance of their property, but their driveway went on forever.

It was like entering a fairy tale, a wonderland so to speak. The gravel drive crackling under my tires went on for miles, leading further into the forest. Each side was lined in cherry blossom trees, all thick and heavy, creating a soft, natural arch. The deeper we went, the denser the foliage became. I think what astounded me more was the fact that instead of getting darker like it should have, it only got brighter. Looking more closely, I realized each tree was lit; a thousand twinkling lights adorned every branch, and their sparkle and magnificence drew you in, guiding you though.

Jasper must have sensed my astonishment, cause he chuckled deep and when I gave him a sideways glance as I craned my neck towards the front windshield, doing my best to get a better look. He explained, "It's all Alice's doing." He nonchalantly waves his hand at the landscape. "I swear the girl thinks she's the queen of something, or should belong to grandeur. She tends to forget she's only a doctor's daughter, and sometimes feels the need to show off."

Smiling, but still not turning to acknowledge him, I respond, "But you have to give the girl her due, Jasper. She really does know how to do it up now, doesn't she?"

Laughing heartily, he replies, "Yep! She does, I'll give her kudos for that."

And just when I think there's no end in sight, we finally make it to an opening, and the Cullen residence comes into view. Immediately my past life flashes before me. My pounding, nervous heart stops instantly in my hollow chest and my breath struggles to keep a steady flow. The only thought I can muster is _'Fuck! I am so seriously doomed, cause this is way beyond the better side of the fucking tracks.' _ Their house is huge, and goes on as far as my eyes could see - wall to wall wood and windows. It's a modern design, yet so easily blends with its natural surroundings. The entryway steps seem to emerge from the dirt beneath them, painstakingly chiseled from the hillside they rested upon. The colors of the aged lumber merge with the forest perfectly, and the seamless windows reflect every shade of plant imaginable. To describe it as a masterpiece would be doing it an injustice and be a hell of an understatement.

Caught up in my daydream, my fingers still sternly folded around the steering wheel, I'm only brought back to reality when I hear my driver's side door open and my skin goose bumps when the chill from the mornings damp air dances upon it. Looking dumbfound, I'm sure, I gaze up bewildered at a proud, beaming Jasper. Reaching out a hand to assist me from my seat, he hurriedly explains, "Please don't let it intimidate you, Edward, it's been in our family for generations. The Cullens may not have always been overly wealthy people. But they always did have good business sense and a mind for investing, this property and some of the surrounding area being the result of it."

And as I straighten from the car, one hand on the door, my other still clasped gently in Jasper's, I nosily scan the surrounding grounds. Its beauty and enchantment captivate me. The rolling green landscape with its very own babbling brook, no less, speckled throughout with a luscious array of flowering color, did everything to my senses imaginable, my sight, hearing and smell feel like they're on a mini vacation, and momentarily had a party in my head.

Having to blink to regain control of myself once more, I'm taken out of my thoughts when Esme's pleasant voice rings out to greet me. "Edward, my boy, how nice of you to finally visit. I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our home." Slowly looking down, viewing our joined hands for the first time, I watch in awe as Jasper does what it seems Jasper does best, calm me with the soft, smooth circles of his cool thumb across my tense knuckles. And only then do I raise my stare and make full eye contact with Esme as she swiftly glides in my direction, followed shortly by the remaining Cullen clan. Each one takes the time to shake my hand or give a quick hug. Looking over an overexcited Alice's shoulder as she proceeds to squeeze the life out of me, I smile shyly when Rose grants me a somewhat pitiful look and a small wave hello from her perch on the porch steps.

Carlisle takes this opportunity to take charge, and swings a strong arm around my shoulders, gently bringing me to his side before commenting, "Come on, Edward, let's get you inside, where it's warm; take some of that chill out of your bones. Can't have you getting sick on us now, can we? Alice was kind enough to light a fire in the living room, expecting your pending arrival." As I feel his fingertips press gently into my shoulders, my mind wonders, _'They were expecting me? They were just waiting? But how the hell could they have known? Did Jasper call ahead?' _I was abruptly jarred from my thoughts when Alice dances into view and bounces eagerly before my eyes. "Would you like some tea, Edward? I know how to prepare that." My brow furrows at her statement, but still smiling at her excitement, I answer, "Sure, Alice, that would be lovely, thank you"

I swallow hard as we enter the room - cause seriously, l think their living quarters are bigger than my whole damn house - I scan it quickly, not wanting to be impolite and stare. The furnishings and walls melt as one in a subtle, warm winter white, but the colorful array of oil paintings upon the walls is like a delicate dessert for the eyes, the background lending to their magnificence, enabling you to focus closely on the superb artistry, rather than just a quick glance.

Seating myself gingerly in the large armchair Esme so kindly pointed out to me in front of the roaring fire, I sigh contentedly when the soft warm fabric forms to my chilled legs and hips, straightening abruptly when Alice just haphazardly shoves a hot cup of tea into my nervous grip. Gazing up at her proud as punch smile, I grant her a wary small one of my own, my shaky hands holding on for dear life to the hot cup, not wanting to make a mess or cause a scene.

I watch in awe as they all take what looks like appointed positions around the room. Esme and Carlisle sit side by side on the long couch, and my stare softens when he wraps his arm tenderly around his wife's shoulders, granting her a loving smile as he draws her near. Jasper rounds my chair, and takes up residence on its arm, while Alice plops Indian style on the floor at my feet. Realizing someone is missing, my eyes frantically dart until they come to rest on one not so happy looking Rose, as she leans against the wall at the entrance, arms folded across her chest.

While everyone stares, I slowly sip on the sweet chamomile, and when the warm liquid coats the back of my throat, I hum in delight. My gaze shoots to Alice, as I hear her softly giggle, and when eye contact is made, she casually shrugs and beamingly smiles. Allowing myself to get lost in its flavor for a while, taking just a few more sips, I finally rest my cup and saucer on the small antique-looking table by my side, then leaning back comfortably in my chair, I let myself wallow in its warmth.

I quickly twist my head, staring in his direction when Jasper is the first to break the silence. "As you all know by now, Edward needs our help."

The swift movement at my feet causes me to turn my attention to Alice, watching as she nods knowingly. "Yes, I filled them in on what I saw, Jasper. I think we all have an idea of what we are up against."

Within seconds, Carlisle chimes in, "We really need to keep a watchful eye on this, guys. Within a few days, Edward's brother should be home, and with Rose being assigned as James' caregiver, this will enable us to keep a closer eye on him during the day." Pointing a finger at Jasper, he proceeds, "And you, Jasper, you can take up duty for Edward while at school, maybe even coming and going." His gaze falls on me momentarily. Shyly smiling, he raises a fist to his mouth, forging a cough before continuing. "That includes all other times spent in each other's company, I guess. Right, Jasper?"

Doing my best to keep up, totally confused with their conversation, only hearing bits and pieces, I glance bewildered at Jasper when he answers, "Right! No problem. We just need to figure out a rotation for night watch. I know I said I'd do it on my own, and up until now, it's been working." He gives me a nervous smile when a worried frown plays upon my face. I open my mouth to speak, but I'm shot down when he continues, "But I'm not sure if I can keep up the pace by myself, with James being there and douchebag still on the prowl."

My eyes dart frantically between them all, when Carlisle, Esme and Alice speak in unison. "I'm in!"

My head spins when Rose decides to throw her angry two cents worth into the ring. "More babysitting!? Like really, people?" Everyone glares in her direction when Alice's tone scolds her. "Rose! Please! Jasper!?" Rose stomps her foot like a four-year-old, then huffs disgustedly. Her sad eyes fall upon Jasper before she continues, "I know, I know! Jeez! Jasper, I'm sorry. It just seems a lot of trouble for something that might nev..." My head turns abruptly to him when he cuts her off. "Rose, please! I don't need your advice or opinion right now. But I do need your help. Are you in or not?"

I jump slightly when Alice loudly, but gleefully, announces, "She's in!"

I watch, totally lost, as an even angrier Rose hisses between her teeth, pushes herself off the wall and makes an exit, huffing begrudgingly under her breath as she goes. "Don't know why I even bother. Whatever, people! And fuck you, Alice! Get the hell out of my head!"

My head spinning, I try and give myself a minute to think. Picking up the teacup in my shaky hands, sipping slowly, I'm doing my utmost to wrap my brain around and make sense of what little details I caught during their verbal dueling. My ears ring as I feel the pounding grow behind my lids, as I try to decipher their words._ 'Alice with her "What I saw shit," Jasper with his "Night_

_watch rotation duty crap," Carlisle with his not so subtle innuendo's, Esme wholeheartedly nodding in agreement to it all. And Rose with her...well just Rose thing.' _

Jasper must sense my disorientation, cause within seconds, he's kneeling on the floor between my legs, doing his best to rub soothing circles onto my trembling thighs. His concerned look worries me a little. I don't want him to think I'm ungrateful for their help, or for that matter, judging them in any way. But my fears are soon put to rest when he softly speaks, "Edward, I know this is a lot to take, in one morning and with as little sleep as you've had. It's got to be totally confusing right now. I'm sure you have a number of questions and concerns that you need answered or addressed. But how about we do this? Let me take you home. You get yourself something to eat, maybe even take a short afternoon nap. Then later, after the family has discussed a few more details, we'll all come by and explain everything and do our best to make what's going on a little clearer for you."

All I can do is a nod, biting on my bottom lip, trying to ward off the confused tears. I turn slightly and place my now empty teacup back on the saucer where it belongs. I rise gingerly, running my shaky fingers through my hair and re-zipping my coat. After some brief goodbyes, short hugs and promises to see one another later, I find myself seated in my passenger seat as a silent Jasper takes me home.

We pull into my driveway, still not having uttered a word. Don't get me wrong, I've tried. My mouth has opened to do so, then I second guessed myself and quickly stayed mute. But even if I could, I wouldn't. Even if I tried, I couldn't. Cause right now, I can't. Right now, I need time to think and get my thoughts in order. Once again, I'm taken out of my head when the car door opens and the chill plays across my face. Grabbing Jasper's, hand I allow him to pull my heavy, weary body free from the vehicle.

And as we stand on the stoop, I let him unlock the door before turning to face him. His amber eyes are concerned and his small smile shows sadness. But as I turn to enter my home, I'm stopped when I feel his calming touch on the small of my back, requesting my attention.

"Get some sleep, Edward. We'll be back this afternoon, and everything will be explained."

Pushing my door open, granting him a small smile, I hear a distant, "Take care! See you later!" as he takes off down the road on foot.

Closing the door behind me, leaning against it heavily, sighing with exhaustion, I'm deeply relieved and content when I hear it click. I proceed to lock each and every bolt, only satisfied when I pull the door knob and nothing gives. Drowsily stripping myself of my jacket, I lazily throw it over the banister post.

Then with one hand on the rail and a heavy foot on the first step, wanting nothing more than to head to my room, desperately in need of a nap, I suddenly freeze in my tracks, when once again his sour sarcastic tone rolls effortlessly off his sharp tongue and rings deep in my ears.

"_Edward!? Edward!? Where the fuck have you been?" My eyes lose focus and my body starts to slowly convuls__e__ when I hear a loud creak in the upstairs hallway, and through a blurry, watery, terrified gaze, his broad, looming shadow appears. "Edward!? Why don't you answer me__?__ Boy__!__"_

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**Thanks for taking the time to read guys. I can't wait to hear your thoughts.**_  
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